The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane. Summerise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane. Summerise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The given
process
Use synonyms
illustrates how sugar is produced from
sugarcane
Use synonyms
. From an
overall
Linking Words
perspective, it can be seen that the entire
process
Use synonyms
includes seven stages, beginning with the growing of
sugarcane
Use synonyms
over 12-18 months. The
process
Use synonyms
involves harvesting, crushing, purifying, evaporating, and
finally
Linking Words
drying and cooling the sugar. In the initial steps,
sugarcane
Use synonyms
is grown for 12-18 months. Once mature, it is ready for harvesting, where workers either cut the
sugarcane
Use synonyms
manually or use machines. After harvesting, the
sugarcane
Use synonyms
is crushed to extract the juice. The extracted juice
then
Linking Words
passes through a purification stage where it is filtered to remove impurities. Following purification, the juice is heated in an evaporator, causing it to thicken into a syrup. In the next stage, the syrup is separated in a centrifuge, which extracts sugar crystals from the syrup.
Finally
Linking Words
, these crystals are dried and cooled in a large container to complete the
process
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by Who is the best? on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "finally".
Introduction: The introduction is missing.
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Vocabulary: Replace the words process, sugarcane with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Only 2 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Manufacturing process
  • Harvesting
  • Transporting
  • Processing plant
  • Washing
  • Crushing
  • Boiling
  • Concentration
  • Purification
  • Crystallization
  • Cooling process
  • Packaging
  • Distribution
  • Sustainability
  • Efficiency
What to do next:
Look at other essays: