People nowadays are spending more time at the workplace and it is argued that this is a problem for family life. To what extent do you agree or disagree.
Presently, humans are spending more
time
at the workplace and it is assumed that family lives are affected greatly by it. This
essay agrees completely with this
statement, because during a
day, people have limited Correct article usage
the
hours
and employees are struggling with getting more paid and traffic
issues, therefore
they are staying for late hours
and barely, have any time
left for the family.
To begin
with, employers and companies are making more complex work hours
, such
as 9-5 rather than 9-2, furthermore
, declining the wage per hour so that people are obliged to work till midnight in order to nurture the family properly. Thus
, in families, couples with offspring, especially mothers, are leaving maternity and paternity holidays quite early. As a result
, the children have to spend the majority of their time
without their parents and it leads to some behaviour issues like crimes, joining gangs etc. in the future.
Moreover
, as well as
working hours
, there is a traffic
problem, which contributes heavily to huge time
consumption on the roads, particularly in the megapolis cities. For example
, it is evident that the majority of workers finish their jobs at 6 pm and they take off straight away at the same time
. As a consequence
, roads are loaded by public transport and vehicles, so it creates traffic
jams, which reduces the time
that should be spent with a family, couples come home after being stressed because of traffic
and reflect negatively each other by these nerves.
In conclusion, at the moment, people are spending time
more than average in the office and companies and it is believed that it gives rise to family problems. It absolutely agrees, because humans are not able to have unlimited time
in a day, they should spend more hours
to be well paid due to
the low salary, in addition
to this
, traffic
restricts the time
that could be spent with family.Submitted by novruzluahmed2007 on
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task achievement
Ensure that examples provided are relevant and effectively illustrate the points being discussed.
For instance, while the essay mentions 'traffic problems' and living in 'megapolis cities', providing specific examples or statistical data would strengthen this point.
coherence cohesion
Use linking words and phrases to enhance the logical flow of the essay.
Words like 'moreover', 'furthermore', and 'thus' are already used well. Consider incorporating additional transitions for further clarity, such as 'while', 'on the other hand' and 'as a result'.
task achievement
The essay provides a clear and structured response to the task, adequately covering the aspects suggested by the question.
coherence cohesion
The arguments are well-organized, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, which helps to maintain coherence throughout.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?
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