Modern technology is now very common in many work places. How do you think this has changed the way we work? Do you think there are disadvantages to relying too much on technology?

In today's world, new
technology
is employed in many
organisations
. Depending on
technology
is always a debatable topic in conventional society.
This
essay will explore the
changed
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changes
show examples
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that occured
show examples
occured
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occurred
in
offices'
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offices
show examples
due to
technological advancement and will discuss whether too much
relience
Correct your spelling
reliance
on
tecnology
Correct your spelling
technology
result
Fix the agreement mistake
results
show examples
in more benefits or demerits. To commence with, The enhanced
technology
caused many
changed
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changes
show examples
in conventional
work
processes in
organisations
. First of all, it
enable
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enables
show examples
to
store
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storage
show examples
enormous amount of
data
and information in
very
Correct article usage
a very
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small space and
due to
this
feature
organisations
can reduce
their
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the
show examples
cost and space used to
store
data
and information.
for
example
Add a comma
example,
show examples
terabytes of
data
can be stored in one hard disk nowadays, which
require
Correct subject-verb agreement
requires
show examples
thousandas
Correct your spelling
thousands
of files and hundreds of square metres of space to
store
Verb problem
apply
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store
the same in physical mode.
In addition
, Using new
technology
increase
Correct subject-verb agreement
increases
show examples
efficiency
Correct article usage
the efficiency
show examples
of the
work flow
Correct your spelling
workflow
show examples
.
Therefore
,
organisations
can
increase
their production or services
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
and will obtain more
profit
.
For example
, automating the food processing and packing allowed
Cocacola
Correct your spelling
Coca-Cola
company to
increase
their annual
profit
by 78%
whithin
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within
one year.
Thus
, it
it
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is
show examples
obvious that
usage
Correct article usage
the usage
show examples
of new
technology
was the main cause of conventional
work
methods. I do not believe that relying too much on
technology
will provide
diadvantages
Correct your spelling
disadvantages
advantages
to the office. Though
this
Correct pronoun usage
these
show examples
have
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has
show examples
some trivial demerits, these can
be easily outweigh
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be easily outweighed
show examples
by
benefits
Correct article usage
the benefits
show examples
of new
technology
.
For example
, the initial cost and
requist
Correct your spelling
request
of expert staff to
maintaine
Correct your spelling
maintain
the new systems can
be recover
Change the verb form
be recovered
show examples
by the increased
profit
within
few
Correct article usage
a few
show examples
months.
Further
,
risk
Correct article usage
the risk
show examples
of
data
loss
due to
cyber crimes or any other errors can be reduced by
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
expert support and
using
Change preposition
by using
show examples
proper precautions
such
as antivirus
softwares
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software
and other
safty
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safety
methods.
In contrast
, enhanced access to information,
Correct word choice
and increase
show examples
increase
Wrong verb form
increased
show examples
profit
can identified as prime
bebefits
Correct your spelling
benefits
for the office.
On the other hand
, it
reduce
Change the verb form
reduces
show examples
the
paper
Correct your spelling
paperwork
show examples
work
, which leads to
reduction
Add an article
a reduction
show examples
in deforestation.
Due to
this
Add a comma
this,
show examples
the environment will be protected and many endangered flora and fauna will be conserved. In conclusion, using new
technology
is common in many
organisations
at
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
present.
Due to
the high
data
storage capacity, and increased efficiency institutes will be able to gain more
profit
. In my opinion, I do not agree that new
technology
provides demerits because
while
it has some minor adverse points
such
as
risk
Add an article
the risk
show examples
of
data
loss and initial cost, many remedies are
avilable
Correct your spelling
available
to overcome these issues.
Further
, it is more eco-friendly.
Submitted by dmsangeeth on

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task achievement
Your essay covers the main points of how technology has changed the workplace and addresses the potential disadvantages. However, ensure that each point is fully developed with more detailed examples and explanations to strengthen your arguments.
coherence cohesion
While your essay is generally coherent, some sentences could be more directly connected to enhance the flow of the essay. Consider using clear transition phrases to guide the reader through your points.
general
Be mindful of small language inaccuracies, such as spelling and grammar errors, which can affect how clearly your ideas are conveyed. It's beneficial to proofread your work for these minor mistakes.
coherence cohesion
The essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing the topic and summarizing your viewpoint.
task achievement
You have included specific examples, such as the Coca-Cola example, which help illustrate your points about technology's benefits.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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