IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The maps below show a public park when it first opened in 1920 and the same park today.

The maps below show a public park when it first opened in 1920 and the same park today.
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The provided maps demonstrate various changes that occurred in Grange
Park
Use synonyms
 between 1920 and today. In brief, it is evident that the
park
Use synonyms
 underwent multiple, fundamental changes. These transformations include but are not limited to: the construction of an amphitheatre for concerts, a children’s play area and a cafe.
Additionally
Linking Words
, a
water
Use synonyms
 feature was created. The most significant changes include
such
Linking Words
 things as a total removal of the fountain in the very centre and the building of a rose garden in its place with seats on each site. The next principal change is the building of the Amphitheatre on the western side of Grange
Park
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. Previously, there was a stage for musicians, which no longer exists.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, a
water
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 feature was created on the south-eastern side of the
park
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, where a glasshouse was located in the previous century.
Additionally
Linking Words
, near the
water
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 feature is now a brand-new children’s playground and a cafe. Back in 1920, there was a pond for
water
Use synonyms
 plants and a rose garden.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "additionally".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words park, water with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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