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Writing Samples
Band 6

Large businesses have big budgets for marketing and promotion and as a result, people graviate towards buying their products. What problems does this cause? What could be done to encourage people to buy local products?

#businesses #budgets #promotion #people #graviate #products
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There is no denying the fact that the competition between large and modest businesses is unfair because of the ability of the large to invest in marketing and being attractive to
people
.
This
 essay will discuss what are the consequences of
this
 fight and how we will transfer it to be fair enough.
To begin
 with, there are many problems from sweeping large businesses by the power of promotion.
Firstly
, they will increase the prices as much as they can.
In other words
,
people
 are interested in trying the product, so they exploit passion.
In addition
, they create the idea that only brands and expensive things are of high quality.
For example
,
people
 did not trust Shein Makeup products because it is very cheap. In terms of encouraging
people
 to buy local products, we should face the idea by raising awareness about the benefits of buying local products. It is
also
 possible to say that the most important benefit is that it will improve our currency and the country's economy.
Moreover
, it will help to control the prices as the large companies will challenge the modest ones In conclusion, the power of advertising influences the selling that uses large brands. But It is
also
 true that awareness of returns buying local brands will destroy
this
 power. So, I hope the government supports and gives facilities to youth to open businesses.
Submitted by gral33jmi on

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task achievement
Try to include more detailed and specific examples to support your points. This will help in illustrating your arguments more clearly.
coherence cohesion
Structure the body paragraphs for better clarity, ensuring that each contains a well-defined main idea with supporting details and examples.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are present, and they provide a clear overview and summary of your main arguments.
task achievement
You have addressed the task by discussing both the problems caused by large businesses and potential solutions to encourage local purchases.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Market Domination
  • Economic Imbalance
  • Cultural Erosion
  • Quality Concerns
  • Unemployment
  • Environmental Impact
  • Local Communities
  • Carbon Emissions
  • Consumer Spending
  • Competitive Prices
  • Promotional Campaigns
  • Cultural Diversity
  • Economic Footprints
  • Economic Ecosystem
  • Small-to-Medium Enterprises (SMEs)
  • Sustainability
  • Local Economy
  • Community Engagement
  • Transparency
  • Corporate Social Responsibility (CSR)
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