Many people believe that watching a live performance is more enjoyable than watching the same event on television. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Nowadays,
live
shows are experiencing a boom and are becoming increasingly popular.
As a result
, there are numerous campaigns promoting upcoming new shows with advanced, eye-catching performances. Some people have expressed a preference for
live
shows over TV shows, and I strongly agree with
this
viewpoint.
This
is because
live
shows offer a
live
interaction between the performer and the audience, and you have the flexibility to choose
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
convenient time and location.   Seeing a
live
show
is a unique and incredible
experience
that connects you to the performer, allows you to feel the vibes, and allows you to share the
experience
with like-minded individuals. Seeing a
live
performance
with friends or family can create shared memories that will
last
a lifetime.
For instance
, my family and friends witnessed the Cirque du Soleil
live
show
, which was truly magnificent. The
performance
, the hall, and even the perfectly synchronized music all seemed genuine. We couldn't help but wonder how many years the
show
's meticulous planning took to achieve
such
perfection.  
Additionally
, there are hundreds of shows available today, each with varying budgets and suitable for different age groups.
This
contrasts with TV shows, which lack variety in terms of
performance
and age group.
For example
, one of my
favorite
Change the spelling
favourite
show examples
TV shows is Arab Got Talent, but unfortunately, some of the talents are extreme and dangerous, making
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
unsuitable for my kids.
On the other hand
, there is another talent
live
show
that my kids can attend, learn from, and enjoy the unique talent
experience
.   In
conclusion
Add a comma
conclusion,
show examples
Attending a
live
performance
offers a unique
experience
, allowing you to select the location and time that suit you best, immersing yourself in the
show
's vibes and ambience, as opposed to repeatedly watching the same event from the comfort of your sofa.
Submitted by Mido  on

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task achievement
Your essay generally addresses the topic well, but ensure your main arguments are introduced clearly in the introduction, so the reader knows what to expect.
coherence cohesion
Try to streamline the flow between paragraphs to enhance the coherence and improve the natural progression from one idea to the next.
introduction conclusion
Revise the introduction and conclusion for minor inaccuracies in punctuation and style to make them as strong as possible.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear point of view, with relevant reasons and examples supporting the preference for live shows over TV shows.
coherence cohesion
Your writing has good logical structure overall, with ideas generally progressing in an orderly manner.
task achievement
Use of personal examples, such as your experience witnessing the Cirque du Soleil, adds depth and personal engagement to the essay.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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