IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some countries have introduced laws to limit working hours for employees. Why are these laws introduced? Do you think they are a positive or negative development? (Write 250 words.)

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Some countries have established
a
Remove the article
apply
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legislation to control working hours for
worker
Fix the agreement mistake
workers
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. I believe that
Linking Words
this
Change preposition
with this
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 new policy the staff can gain a great benefit to their physical and mental conditions and have a good impact on society. First of all,
by
Change preposition
apply
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the
bring in
Wrong verb form
bringing
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 of these laws will make a significant change in human life,
due to
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 the pressure of work conditions and job
time
Use synonyms
 that they have to deal with, which can cause an employee to feel the distance in the family that
lead
Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
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 them to the depressed and anxious situations. If the job
time
Use synonyms
 is reduced, workers are able to spend that
time
Use synonyms
 with the people that
their
Correct pronoun usage
they
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loves
Correct subject-verb agreement
love
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 and
cares
Correct subject-verb agreement
care
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.
Change preposition
about.
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For example
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, a working woman can go to a movie with the family.
As a result
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, these laws will prevent the company from forcing their workers to have an extra period of work
time
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
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, people can maintain a work-life balance in
the
Change the article
an
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 effective way. The employee can have a sense of achievement only if they manage
this
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 balance.
For instance
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, a staff who manages work and family at the same level shows a high quality of performance in their company’s role.
In addition
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, people can focus on their favourite activities if they get more
time
Use synonyms
 in their daily lives.
This
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 can have an advantage to grow their particular skills and can
also
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 be utilised for society’s good outcome. In conclusion, the reduced
of
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apply
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working hours can effectively
benefits
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benefit
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 the worker’s responsibilities as a part of
family
Add an article
the family
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as well as
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 get an opportunity to improve their special skills.
Overall
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, employees could be satisfied to manage a balance between their employment and family.

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language
Make sure to proofread for grammatical accuracy to enhance clarity.
task response
Introduce more specific examples and evidence to support the main arguments.
coherence cohesion
Ensure a clear logical progression of ideas by refining the transitions between paragraphs.
task response
The essay directly addresses the question, providing reasons for the introduction of laws and discussing their potential positive impact.
coherence cohesion
The points are generally well-organized, with an introduction and conclusion present.
task response
The notion of work-life balance is well-explained and logically justified.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • 1. Burnout
  • 2. Work-life balance
  • 3. Productivity
  • 4. Diminishing returns
  • 5. Ethical responsibility
  • 6. Exploitation
  • 7. Fair labor practices
  • 8. Chronic illnesses
  • 9. Job creation
  • 10. Unemployment rates
What to do next:
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