IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

The cost of air travel has fallen in recent years. Do you believe this is a positive or negative development? To what extent do you agree or disagree? Write at least 250 words.

#cost #air #travel #years #development
In the modern era , with the advancement in technology in travelling many
people
 these days
travelling
Wrong verb form
travel
show examples
 by
air
 and more over
cost
Add an article
the cost
show examples
 of
travel
 is
recorderd
Correct your spelling
recorded
 lower as
campare
Correct your spelling
compare
compared
 to
past
Correct article usage
the past
show examples
.I
wholeheartdly
Correct your spelling
wholeheartedly
 opine
this
 trend helps in
people
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
 many reasons. In the upcoming paragraphs,
this
 essay delve deeper into
this
 development. To commence with. Let us shed some light
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the benefits of
air
travel
. First and foremost, when an individual travelling by
air
 it helps not only the person to save time but
also
 energy and with the ease of lower fees in
air
Add an article
the air
show examples
 travelling more
people
 choose to
travel
 by
air
instead
 of private vehicles. To cite an example,research conducted by
University
Correct article usage
the University
show examples
 of British
columbia
Change the capitalization
Columbia
show examples
 in
canada
Change the capitalization
Canada
show examples
 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
year 2012 asserted that about 10% of
people
 increased in travelling by
air
 because of
cost cutting
Add a hyphen
cost-cutting
show examples
 implemented by
air
 companies .
Hence
, more
people
 save their time and money with
this
 trend.
In addition
 to
this
, it helps
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
more
people
 to
fullfill
Correct your spelling
fulfil
 their dreams
to
Change preposition
of travelling
show examples
travel
 by
planes
Fix the agreement mistake
plane
show examples
.To elaborate more,
as
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
these days inflation is very high so most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
Add an article
the people
show examples
not
Add a missing verb
are not
show examples
 able to
fullfill
Correct your spelling
fulfil
 their basic needs
such
 as food and housing .
Subsequently
, when
airlines company
Fix the agreement mistake
airline companies
show examples
 reduce their prices middle class and
underprivelege
Correct your spelling
underprivileged
people
 get
chance
Correct article usage
a chance
show examples
 to
travel
 by
air
 .
Nevertheless
,
this
 reduced cutting in
air
 travelling helps
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
poor
people
 to commute by
air
. To
recaptiluate
Correct your spelling
recapitulate
, it can be asserted that
this
 trend has many
advantage
Change to a plural noun
advantages
show examples
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society.Just because of
this
development
Add a comma
development,
show examples
 it helps
people
 to save time and money but
also
fullfill
Correct your spelling
fulfil
 their dreams
to
Change preposition
of travelling
show examples
travel
 by
air
Submitted by navdeepbajaj89 on

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Task Response
Aim for more precise vocabulary and better sentence structures to enhance clarity. Avoid repetition of ideas.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use more linking words and phrases to improve cohesion between sentences and paragraphs.
Introduction and Conclusion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion that summarize the main ideas appropriately.
Supported Main Points
Main points are generally supported with examples and explanation.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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