The graph below shows the average number of Vietnamese students studying in France, Russia and America between 2000 and 2015. (million students). Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows the average number of Vietnamese students studying in France, Russia and America between 2000 and 2015. (million students). Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The graph illustrates the
Vietnamese
Use synonyms
students
Use synonyms
pursuing their studies in two European countries and
America
Use synonyms
from 2000 to 2015.
Overall
Linking Words
, France and Russia
being
Wrong verb form
are
show examples
the
highest
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
countries that
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
Vietnamese students
a Vietnamese student
show examples
Vietnamese
Use synonyms
students
Use synonyms
studied in
Wrong verb form
studying
show examples
there, and
America
Use synonyms
being
Change the form of the verb
is
show examples
the lowest
one
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
.
However
Linking Words
,
at the end
Linking Words
of the period,
America
Use synonyms
being
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
the
most
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
country
for
Change preposition
with
show examples
having
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
Vietnamese students
a Vietnamese student
show examples
Vietnamese
Use synonyms
students
Use synonyms
.
Vietnamese
Use synonyms
students
Use synonyms
studied in France and Russia stood at 3
Use synonyms
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
and 3.5
Use synonyms
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
, respectively. 2010 saw a decrease in the number of
students
Use synonyms
(around 1
Use synonyms
millions
Change to a singular noun
million
show examples
falls). Despite
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
decreased
Replace the word
decrease
show examples
in 2010, the next 5 years showed a significant increase
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
students
Use synonyms
,
reached
Wrong verb form
reaching
show examples
4.5
Use synonyms
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
in France and 2.5
Use synonyms
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
in Russia
at the end
Linking Words
of the period.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
although
Linking Words
America
Use synonyms
had the lowest number of
Vietnamese
Use synonyms
students
Use synonyms
in 2000 (
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
only
Add a missing verb
was only
show examples
1.5
Use synonyms
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
) for the next 15 years,
America
Use synonyms
gave
Verb problem
had
show examples
a
Change the article
the
show examples
highest number of
Vietnamese
Use synonyms
students
Use synonyms
among the two other countries. There was a sudden increase, reaching 5
Use synonyms
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
students
Use synonyms
in 2015.
Submitted by Agreita Salsabila on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "at the end".
Vocabulary: Replace the words vietnamese, students, america, millions with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "decrease" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • average number
  • Vietnamese students
  • studying abroad
  • steady increase
  • significant growth
  • comparatively
  • percentage increase
  • gap
  • narrowed
  • chosen to study
What to do next:
Look at other essays: