It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? What sort of punishment should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behaviour to children?
Positive and negative feedback has to be implemented in young people in order to show them the importance of having appropriate behaviours and the consequences of having those that are inappropriate.
Then
, I staunchly believe that children
and youngsters should be rewarded and punished according to
their performances, respectively. In this
essay, I will explain my reasons in detail and how the professors and parents should manage the punishments
.
To start with, teachers and parents are considered authority figures who should be respected by humankind. Thus
, they are in charge of teaching not only children
but adolescents all manners, ethics, and values which should be fulfilled in order to be part of society. As a consequence
of this
, many debates have been carried out to establish the proper education people should receive as well as
whether punishments
are required from an early age. Then
, psychologists and sociologists have proved that the most crucial range of age for teaching behaviours and patterns is between 1 and 5 years old because of the development of the brain. Therefore
, some penalties should be implemented as a way to show the impact of bad actions.
Additionally
, types of punishments
to be performed among schools and households have been set by governments in order to establish boundaries and avoid severe actions. Then
, it is clear that
not only physical but also
psychological violence is forbidden. Besides
, in the case of considering punishments
as a unique way of teaching, they have to be proportional to the age and the action that was committed. For instance
, parents could restrict the usage of technological devices or social media, or children
cannot stay outside with their friends unless they accomplish all their homework. Conversely
, professors should implement community service for those who have no respect and empathy.
To sum up
, it is well-known and it has been proved that children
should be taught from early stages to respect and follow the rules. Nevertheless
, many characteristics should be taken into account to establish fair punishments
by teaching the importance of having proper behaviours.Submitted by luciaagudelomotta on
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task achievement
Your essay provides a clear response to the task prompt by discussing the importance of teaching children right from wrong and suggesting appropriate punishments. However, your support for these points could be stronger with more detailed examples or evidence. Adding more specific instances can further strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
While your essay is logically structured, certain transitions between ideas could be smoother. Use linking phrases such as 'Furthermore', 'On the other hand', 'Specifically', and 'For example', to ensure a more fluid flow of ideas.
coherence cohesion
The essay could benefit from a more compelling conclusion. Summarize the key points and finish with a strong closing statement that reinforces your position.
coherence cohesion
You presented a clear introduction and conclusion, which frames your essay effectively.
task achievement
Your essay stays focused on the task, addressing both the importance of teaching children the difference between right and wrong and suggesting appropriate forms of punishment.
task achievement
The points you make are relevant and insightful, demonstrating a solid understanding of the topic.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example
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