Logging of the rain forests is a serious problem and it may lead to the extiction of animal life and human life. Do you agree or disagree?
These days, deforestation has been a prime issue which might contribute to placing all kinds of living
being
on the verge of Replace the word
beings
the
extinction. Personally, I wholeheartedly agree with Correct article usage
apply
this
statement as all of us are witnessing adverse transformations in the Earth.
To begin
with, cutting down trees
in excessive amount
leads to problems Fix the agreement mistake
amounts
such
as global warming. Trees
remove carbon dioxide in the atmosphere and emit oxygen which is a main source for all human
and creatures on the planet. When Fix the agreement mistake
humans
trees
are being logged, the high rate of carbon in the air cause
the ozone layer to be ruined, leading to global warming. Replace the word
causes
This
makes
some catastrophic phenomena Verb problem
causes
such
as flooding which causes habitat loss for many creatures.
In some regions
there are some precious Add a comma
regions,
material
Fix the agreement mistake
materials
such
as gold which can be mined. This
makes greedy local people to
destroy tropical rainforests which are one the main sources and are abundant Change the verb form
apply
of
various flora and Change preposition
in
funa
. Correct your spelling
fauna
This
can cause dire consequences not only on the
climate change, but it Correct article usage
apply
also
cause
economic impacts as well, which means the depletion of sources that many communities and industries rely on. In order to overcome Correct subject-verb agreement
causes
this
situation, individual
should alter their logging practice by exchanging seedlings with logged Add an article
an individual
the individual
trees
. This
results in balancing ecosystem
.
Add an article
the ecosystem
To sum up
, felling trees
in excess leads to dying out all human beings and biodiversity on the Earth. I strongly agree with this
statement because it is apparent how deforestation affects all forms of life. Owing to emmitting
oxygen Correct your spelling
emitting
trees
can prevent many crisis
which are adverse Change to a plural noun
crises
on
the world, Change preposition
to
such
as intercepting flooding and
reducing the amount of global temperature and balancing the Correct word choice
apply
economic
in a region.Replace the word
economy
Submitted by sahar.moti1994 on
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task achievement
Include more specific examples to strengthen your arguments. Referencing specific studies, events, or data could add credibility.
coherence and cohesion
Your ideas are clearly outlined, but ensure each point clearly connects back to the central thesis that deforestation leads to extinction.
introduction and conclusion
The introduction clearly states your position and the conclusion effectively summarizes your ideas, reinforcing your argument.
logical structure
Logical progression of ideas from the introduction, to the arguments in the main body, and finally to the conclusion.
task achievement
The essay addresses all parts of the question and provides a thoughtful response with multiple arguments.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite