In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be case ? Do you think this is a positive or negative situtaion?
In some countries, many people consider owning a home
does
Change the verb form
to do
a
things that Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
really
needed than renting. Add a missing verb
are really
Additionally
, I believe that is
not fully true and it can be a negative situation.
As I have said before, those statement
can Change the determiner
that statement
those statements
brings
a negative situation. Change the verb form
bring
It
is becauseCorrect pronoun usage
This
,
Remove the comma
apply
mostly
persons do not have money Correct your spelling
most
for
Change preposition
to
buy
a house and the prices for a house Change the verb form
buying
does
not cheap or even affordable.
Verb problem
are
Therefore
, these moments can be burden
for them. Especially, If the person Add an article
a burden
take
credit for Correct subject-verb agreement
takes
pay
a home that certainly Change the verb form
paying
it does
not well to Verb problem
is
suistainable
.
Correct your spelling
sustainable
Futhermore
, renting a house will be Correct your spelling
Furthermore
helps
for the citizens. Replace the word
helpful
For example
, many rentainers
offer Correct your spelling
retailers
retainers
to
customers Change preposition
apply
of
benefits or even services that the Change preposition
apply
servis
will Correct your spelling
service
be already
24 hours to serve them. Verb problem
allow
Thus
, it really will be usefull
for the citizens. Correct your spelling
useful
As a result
, they do not have thinks
about the problem that will come to them, Change the verb form
to think
such
as there
is a problem with the bed and the Correct word choice
if there
others
mistakes.
In summary, I believe that Correct quantifier usage
other
the
renting a place to live Correct article usage
apply
really
Add a missing verb
is really
hellpfully
for the citizens and Correct your spelling
helpful
helpfully
those statement
can not be accepted. Change the determiner
that statement
those statements
Otherwise
, owning a home does not usefull
and can be Correct your spelling
useful
burden
for them.Add an article
a burden
Submitted by millionmiles.indonesia on
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coherence cohesion advice
Try to structure your essay more clearly with distinct paragraphs for introduction, body, and conclusion. Ensure that each paragraph flows logically to the next.
task achievement advice
Work on providing more specific examples to support your main points. Examples can significantly strengthen your arguments.
task achievement advice
Aim for clearer and more comprehensive ideas. Ensure each main point is fully developed and explained in your essay.
task achievement highlight
The essay presents a clear stance on home ownership versus renting.
coherence cohesion highlight
The attempt to explain the negative sides of owning a home is evident, showcasing an understanding of potential socioeconomic problems.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.