IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

A 'cashless society' is one where people use debit/credit cards and other forms of payment instead of cash. Do the advantages of a cashless society outweigh the disadvantages?

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As a result
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 of globalization, individuals around the world use
cards
Use synonyms
 as their only expense
instead
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 of
cash
Use synonyms
money
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. In my opinion, the benefits of
this
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 evolution outweigh the drawbacks, but there are some restrictions that could decrease the dependence on card usage.
To begin
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 with, avoiding the transmission of microbes among a country's citizens could be the most obvious benefit of
this
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 trend. Touching
money
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 could lead to persuasive effects of certain micro-organisms that are not tangible or clearly visible by the naked eye, which may cause dangerous diseases that some citizens could be vulnerable and prone to.
For instance
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, some of these organisms would be acquired by touching contaminated places,
such
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 as influenza viruses or tuberculosis.
However
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, some situations may require using
cash
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money
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. Some individuals may be involved in crimes,
such
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 as
money
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 laundering, and some authorities tend to ban
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
criminals from holding credit
cards
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 and freezing their bank accounts.
Additionally
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, some people are forced to suspend
cash
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 rather than use
cards
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,
such
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 as the citizens of developing countries, because it is usually harder to find a withdrawal system or
cards
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 for paying devices.
Although
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 some of the undeveloped countries may suffer from a decrease in electrical supply, which all bank-related machines are relying on. In
this
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 regard, in 2021, some economic experts revealed that the amount of using the Visa card in Afghanistan is the least among other Asian countries,
due to
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 the interrupted political situation that results in limitations in card systems. In conclusion, I believe that diminishing using
cash
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money
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 is crucial to the world’s development.
This
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 advancement may decline the spreading of infectious diseases.
However
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, there are some situations that do not allow for
following
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this
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 new trend,
such
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 as some criminal cases or the unavailability of some devices that are important for operations.

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear point and avoid grouping too many different ideas together.
task achievement
Consider exploring more examples to provide depth to your arguments.
task achievement
Maintain consistency in the use of terms like 'cards' and 'cash' vs. 'cash money' for further clarity and precision.
coherence cohesion
Good introduction and conclusion, which effectively frame your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Logical structure is followed for the most part, creating a cohesive essay.
task achievement
Solid understanding of task requirements, offering a balanced view.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • cashless society
  • digital payments
  • financial inclusion
  • technological infrastructure
  • transactions
  • privacy concerns
  • financial management
  • system failures
  • cyber-attacks
  • convenience
  • electronic payments
  • budgeting
  • financial information
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