IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Caring for children is probably the most important job in any society. Because of this, all mothers and fathers should be required to take a course that prepares them to be good parents. To What extent do you agree or disagree?

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Taking care of
children
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 is one of the most important tasks in our country. If
parents
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 take a
course
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 about how to bring up
children
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, they’ll be more qualified. Raising
children
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 is the hardest and most important thing in life.
Although
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 today
children
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 are really independent and most
parents
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 tend to take a
course
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 that teaches them to be good
parents
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.
For example
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: If
parents
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 do not know how to raise and communicate with their
children
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,it can bad impact on their future,
therefore
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 it is a great way to study child psychology and get useful data about
children
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. Afterwards, they may bring up their
children
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 much more easily. Some
parents
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 do not have any
time
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 to go to courses, because of their jobs. When they go courses they can not earn money and help their family financially. They think going on a
course
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 is a waste of money and
time
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, they prefer to care for their
children
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 by themselves.
Such
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 as they tend to spend much more
time
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 with their
children
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,
communicate
Correct word choice
and communicate
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 with them to know about their feelings by themselves , rather than attend some kind of
course
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.
Then
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 they may watch or read some kind of book about raising
children
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. After
that
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that,
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 they can save their money
,
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apply
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 and
time
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 and they can give a good upbringing to their
children
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. In conclusion, in
this
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 essay, I wrote about courses for
parents
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 to learn how to bring up their
children
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. In my opinion, the best way to raise
children
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 is by their
parents
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task achievement
Ensure that each paragraph clearly supports the main argument or counterargument with specific examples and detailed explanation.
coherence cohesion
Structure your essay with well-developed paragraphs, making it easier for readers to follow your argument.
coherence cohesion
Use a variety of linking words and cohesive devices to improve the flow and connection between sentences and paragraphs.
task achievement
You provided a clear opinion on the topic and explained it in the conclusion.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, providing a good structure overall.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Parenting skills
  • Child development
  • Mandatory courses
  • Nutrition
  • Discipline strategies
  • Effective communication
  • Government regulations
  • Voluntary workshops
  • Community support
  • Cultural backgrounds
  • Personal beliefs
  • Emotionally stable
What to do next:
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