Children find it difficult to pay attention or concentrate on school study what are the reasons? How can we solve this problem?

It is universally acknowledged that
concentration
plays a critical role in education.
Unfortunetaly
Correct your spelling
Unfortunately
, recently, it has been a concern that the level of
students
's
focusing
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focus
show examples
on subjects at
schools
has significantly declined. In
this
regard,
this
essay will discuss the causes of
this
problem and propose practical
solution
Fix the agreement mistake
solutions
show examples
as well. Looking in detail at
reasons
Correct article usage
the reasons
show examples
for low
concentration
at
schools
, it should be taken into account that focusing is influenced by various factors. The most important one is the change in people's lifestyles. To put it differently, youngsters have got used to staying up late or eating unhealthy snacks which considerably
impact
Correct subject-verb agreement
impacts
show examples
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people's awareness and
concentration
. It is scientifically proven that
the
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a
show examples
lack of sleep and unhealthy nutrition lead to
decreasing
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a decrease
show examples
in
brains'
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brain'
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performance.
For example
, a study declares that
students
who sleep after
the
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apply
show examples
midnight, hardly ever do they comprehend school subjects.
Due to
the fact that the lack of
concentration
is a vital issue;
thus
, it entails prompt and practical solutions. First and foremost, unhealthy habits should be eliminated from juveniles' lifestyles.
This
can be implemented through widespread advertising by governments and
schools
. They should enlighten
students
from
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about
show examples
the consequences of their harmful habitats. In
this
regard, renowned celebrities can
be participated
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participate
show examples
in useful programs and meetings and talk about their healthy habitat to pupils.
This
notion can have
effect
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an effect
show examples
on
juvenils'
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juveniles'
lifestyles
due to
their enthusiasm
to
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for
show examples
famous people.
For example
, Ronaldo,
the
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a
show examples
prominent sports figure, forbade the consumption of cola
in
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on
show examples
TV, and after that, the selling rate of cola dramatically declined among learners. In conclusion, every individual needs to be aware
while
they are studying. The lack of
concentration
dramatically increases the efficiency of
students
. Regarding
this
, not only governments but
also
schools
' managers should take it
serious
Change the adjective
seriously
show examples
because
in
Add the comma(s)
, in
show examples
the long run, it would definitely affect pupils's academic performance.
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that all points logically flow from one to another. While the essay is well-structured, some transitions between ideas could be a bit smoother to enhance the overall coherence. Consider using a wider variety of linking words and phrases to guide the reader more fluidly through your thoughts.
task achievement
Expand on points about potential solutions slightly more. You could include additional information on how to implement these solutions practically, or provide a broader range of solutions. While your examples are relevant, adding more depth would enrich your response.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear and strong introduction and conclusion, making it easy to follow the writer’s line of thought from start to finish.
task achievement
The main points in the essay are well supported with specific examples, such as the mention of Ronaldo's influence on lifestyle changes.
task achievement
Your essay thoroughly addresses both causes and solutions to the problem, showing a strong understanding of the task requirements and maintaining focus throughout.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • immediate gratification
  • diverse learning preferences
  • one-size-fits-all approach
  • disengagement
  • nutritional factors
  • processed foods
  • energy spikes and crashes
  • cognitive function
  • sedentary lifestyles
  • integrate
  • promote
  • diversify
  • incorporate
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