IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The diagram below shows the process of producing smoked fish.

The diagram below shows the process of producing smoked fish.
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The graph illustrates the technique of production of
fish
Use synonyms
 which is smoked in a factory.
Overall
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 process consists of 13 stages which begin by catching
fish
Use synonyms
 from the oceans or sees and end by delivering the product to shops or marketplaces
such
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 as
fish
Use synonyms
 stores for customers. At the starting point with the help of a net and boat
fish
Use synonyms
 are caught and
then
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 replaced at the port.
Following
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this
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, the freezing stage starts and the
fish
Use synonyms
 will be
frost
Wrong verb form
frosted
show examples
 in a special box. After that, the important phase sets in motion,
fish
Use synonyms
 will be contained to the specific equipment for smoking.
Subsequently
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, already smoked
fish
Use synonyms
 will be washed with salt water which contains yellow colouring chemicals.
Then
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, the
fish
Use synonyms
 will be cleaned with fresh water and placed in the boxes. Afterwards, they will be frost until 0 degrees and
finally
Linking Words
 will be put in cold containers and transported to the stores.

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words fish with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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