Some people claim that many things that children are taught at school are a waste of time. Other people argue that everything that children study at school is useful at sometime. Discuss the both views and give your opinion.

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Some people
belived
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believed
believe

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that many things that children are
studing
Correct your spelling
studying

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at
school
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

is
Change the verb form
are

The singular verb is does not appear to agree with the plural subject many things that children are studing at school. Consider changing the verb form for subject-verb agreement.

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no
Correct your spelling
not

The word no doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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necessary. Other people
belived
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believed
believe

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that all the subjects that children are
studing
Correct your spelling
studying

If you don’t want studing to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

at
school
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

is
Change the verb form
are

The singular verb is does not appear to agree with the plural subject all the subjects that children are studing at school. Consider changing the verb form for subject-verb agreement.

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useful. In
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

essay
Add a comma
essay,

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase In this essay. Consider adding a comma.

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i
Change the capitalization
I

The pronoun I should always be capitalized.

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will discuss
the
Remove the article
apply

It is unlikely that your sentence needs the article the before both. Consider deleting the article.

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both sides and give my own
opnion
Correct your spelling
opinion

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. I do not remember how many subjects I used to have at Primary
School
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

,
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

however
Add a comma
however,

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase however. Consider adding a comma.

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I record It was really intense and
increase
Replace the word
increased

The word increase doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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year by year. The benefits of having diversified subjects
is
Change the verb form
are

The singular verb is does not appear to agree with the plural subject benefits. Consider changing the verb form for subject-verb agreement.

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Correct your spelling
essential
essencial
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essential

If you don’t want essencial to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

no
Correct your spelling
not

The word no doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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just to learning maths or
quimistry
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chemistry

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, but important to practice sports to help with
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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and
Correct word choice
apply

It seems that conjunction use may be incorrect here.

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mental health ,
in
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

addition
Add a comma
addition,

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase in addition. Consider adding a comma.

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children are so full of energy, and the parents need the
school
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

to be supportive

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task achievement
Ensure to cover both perspectives on the topic thoroughly and present a balanced argument before stating your opinion.
task achievement
Develop more comprehensive ideas with specific examples to strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Work on a clear and logical structure, ensuring all arguments are connected effectively.
coherence cohesion
Include a conclusion to summarize your main points and reinforce your opinion.
task achievement
The introduction sets a good stage for discussing different viewpoints.
task achievement
The essay raises relevant points about the diversity of subjects contributing to mental and physical well-being.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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