The graph below compares the number of visits to two new music sites on the web. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below.

#visits #two #music #sites #web #report #university #lecturer #information

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The line graph compares the thousands of spectators,who

reffered

Correct your spelling

referred

the

Change preposition

to the

show examples

two different

music

webniners

Correct your spelling

webinars

webzines

within 15 days.

Overall

,it can be seen that,

although

the website

Pop

Parade

had fluctuations, it retained the highest proportion at the starting point,

as well as

the ending point.

To begin

with,

Change preposition

show examples

the 1st

day

while

the

Music

Choice

achived

Correct your spelling

achieved

archived

40,000 subscribers the

Pop

Parade

stood at 120,000 by

80,000

Correct article usage

an 80,000

show examples

gap.

Then

,the number of viewers of the

Pop

Parade

has dramatically

dicreased

Correct your spelling

decreased

to just

bellow

Correct your spelling

below

show examples

40,000,which is just higher than that of

thebMusic

Correct your spelling

the Music

Choice

However

then

these both sites,the

Music

Choice

and

Pop

Parade

closely followed in the days of 7th to 9th and,the latter one inclined to approximately 150,000,

while

the

foremer

Correct your spelling

former

one fluctuated until

11th

Correct article usage

the 11th

show examples

day

In contrast

even-though

Correct your spelling

even though

show examples

the

Pop

Parade

dcreased

Correct your spelling

decreased

increased

to 80,000 the other

vertual

Correct your spelling

virtual

site

gaind

Correct your spelling

gained

Change the article

show examples

increase to 120,000

Change preposition

show examples

the 13th

day

,despite its fluctuation between12th to 14th days.In comparison end of the 15th

day

Add a comma

day,

show examples

160,000 thousands of people visited the

Pop

Parade

whereas

the

Music

choice

was visited by nearly 80,000 bloggers.

Submitted by ranpuluk on Fri Nov 15 2024

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words music, pop, parade, day, choice with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "compares" in your introduction.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "fluctuations" was used 2 times.

▼

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
18
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

167 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Music sites
Web traffic
Number of visits
Trend analysis
Initial phase
Steady increase
Fluctuations
Significant change
Peaks
Turning point
Growth rate
Seasonal variation
Comparative analysis
Long-term trend

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The graph below compares the number of visits to two new music sites on the web. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below.

In some countries an increasing number of people are suffering from health problem as a result of eating to much fast food. It is neccesary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food. To what extent do you agree or disagree

Some people feel that manufactures and supermarkets have the responsibility to reduce the amount of packaging of foods. Others argue that customers should avoid buying goods with a lot of packaging. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Many people think that money is important to achieve happiness. What is the importance of money to happiness? Give reasons for your answer and include examples from your experience.

Students generally prefer to choose the period they are supposed to study and the period they are free to have fun. They should be allowed to do their time management. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people think young people should be required to have full time education until they are at least 18 years old. To what extent do you agree or disagree?