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Band 6

With growing populations in cities, more and more people live in homes with little or no outdoor space. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

#populations #cities #people #homes #space #development
In
this
 contemporary era , many individuals are relocating towards urban areas,
therefore
 certain sections of people argue whether it has a positive or negative advancement. I am in complete accord that it has a negative effect
due to
 sundry
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
reasons. In the forthcoming paragraphs, I shall discuss both situations and I shall set forth my point of view.
To begin
 with, living in confined houses has a couple of optimistic aspects, Not only do small residences save cleaning
time
, but
also
 affordable to purchase.
In other words
, in
this
 hustle-bustle span, people tend to spend most of their day at work, So, it will save
time
 for fundamental housekeeping tasks if they live in compact homes.
Furthermore
, the majority of folks are not affluent, and a big residence requires a significant amount of money.
As a result
, the only alternative left to them is modest condominiums, which are economical maintenance.
On the other hand
, In spite of smaller places being low-cost in all aspects, it leads to numerous health issues for all the members of the family. Most of the houses in the cities do not have enough
place
Fix the agreement mistake
places
show examples
 or balconies, where children are able to play during their free
time
.
Also
Add a comma
Also,
show examples
 parents do have not any area for exercise, yoga and social gatherings.
Likewise
, One consideration is the limitation of air fluency which is the by respiratory-related illnesses.
As a result
, both mental and physical well-being will be disturbed which are now becoming common in
this
time
. In the view of arguments outlined above one can conclude that Even though
mini-shelter
Correct article usage
a mini-shelter
show examples
 can benefit people in terms of sustaining their daily needs and sparing
time
 for basic housekeeping chores, the detrimental impact of living here is willful ignorance.
Consequently
, one should balance and consider the merits and demerits before deciding where to move in.
Submitted by rajputashutosh0009 on

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coherence cohesion
Consider organizing your ideas more logically. For instance, clearly separate the positive aspects from the negative aspects of living in smaller homes. This can help in achieving better coherence.
task achievement
Try to develop stronger supporting arguments with more specific examples. This will provide a more compelling argument for your viewpoint.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction sets up the essay well by stating your position clearly. This helps the reader understand the direction of your argument.
coherence cohesion
You conclude by summarizing both positives and negatives effectively, providing a balanced view.
task achievement
You have addressed both potential benefits and drawbacks of smaller living spaces, which shows a complete response to the task.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • urban density
  • public transportation infrastructure
  • social interaction
  • community bonding
  • mental well-being
  • urban biodiversity
  • urban heat island effect
  • energy-efficient
  • affordable housing
  • cramped living conditions
  • innovative architecture
  • interior design
  • physical activity
  • sedentary lifestyle
  • quality of life
What to do next:
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