People today spend less and less time interacting with other people in their neighborhood and this has a negative impact on community. What are the causes and solutions? ф

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Nowadays,
people
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spend less
time
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interacting without other
people
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like
neighbours
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and
this
Linking Words
influence negatively impacts on community. The main
causes
Fix the agreement mistake
cause
show examples
is that
after
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
more
people
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lead to depression
Replace the word
become depressed
show examples
and become
to introvert
Change the verb form
introverts
show examples
and
scary
Verb problem
scarred to
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communicate with
people
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. The best solution is
open
Fix the infinitive
to open
show examples
different activities lessons for
neighbours
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and conduct them 1-2 a week to know better each other. The number of
people
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who do not talk to each other increases year and year, and
that is
Linking Words
why
neighbours
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are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
do not communicate. Most
people
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like to
spending
Wrong verb form
spend
show examples
time
Use synonyms
with
yourself
Correct pronoun usage
themselves
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or they are just
introvert
Fix the agreement mistake
introverts
show examples
and cannot start chatting right away.
However
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
human can be
extrovert
Fix the agreement mistake
extroverts
show examples
but just
in
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apply
show examples
depressed
some
Change preposition
for some
show examples
time
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and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
that
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
because they do not want to leave their home.
For
Linking Words
example
Add a comma
example,
show examples
I do not communicate with my
neighbours
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because I do not think it is necessary and
also
Linking Words
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
do not have
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
time
Use synonyms
for them. So every human has their own problem in their head and
mental
Replace the word
mind
show examples
. A solution
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
this
Linking Words
problem is just
open
Fix the infinitive
to open
show examples
more activities or
community
Fix the agreement mistake
communities
show examples
for
people
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in one area. It is like
to go
Change the verb form
going
show examples
to
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
restaurant with each other , spending
time
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together, talking and just chilling.
Also
Linking Words
, just greet with
on
Correct your spelling
one
show examples
another. It can be
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
outside
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
when suddenly you see each other. Even if it just a little
actions
Fix the agreement mistake
action
show examples
it can
be help
Change the verb form
help
show examples
a lot for just starting
community
Add an article
a community
show examples
.
For instance
Linking Words
, you can spend another event and just
shared
Wrong verb form
share
show examples
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
your good mood,
feeling
Fix the agreement mistake
feelings
show examples
,
emotions
Correct word choice
and emotions
show examples
and just exchange
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
good energy with each other. In conclusion, the most effective way to communicate with
neighbours
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is just
talk
Fix the infinitive
to talk
show examples
. If you contact
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
neighbours
Use synonyms
it can help avoid a big problem that happens in your area and decide it together.
Submitted by akzharkynzhamal on

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task response
Try to clearly explain the underlying causes of reduced neighborhood interactions. Currently, the reasons given are somewhat vague, like 'people becoming introverted' or 'depression.' It would be beneficial to provide more detailed, specific causes such as the impact of digital technology or urban lifestyle changes.
task response
Ensure that your solutions are directly related to the causes you mentioned. Right now, the solutions are provided but not strongly linked to the reasons why people aren't interacting. This will strengthen the response as it addresses the root causes.
coherence cohesion
Work on your paragraph structure to improve coherence. Ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and flows logically from one idea to the next. Currently, ideas can feel a bit jumbled, such as in the second body paragraph.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps guide the reader through your essay.
task response
You've made a good attempt to provide examples in support of your points, such as suggesting activities like going to a restaurant to bolster community interaction.

Your opinion

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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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