Some people believe that travelling is a valuable experience; others say it is a waste of time and money.  Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people argue that visiting other regions or countries is an absolute worth,
while
others believe that there are several urgencies that may be prioritized.
While
it is true that travelling is categorized as a quarterly need which may consume thousands of dollars for one cycle, I believe that it can give us a precious experience. On the one hand, taking a long trip for a holiday may act as a money extravagance and time-demanding activity.
This
may be because only a day journey requires flight tickets, on-site
accomodations
Correct your spelling
accommodations
accommodation
, gate passes to the tourist spots, and many additional things to be prepared with money. Take my experience as an example. I went to London
last
year for a two-day business trip and it cost up to 6000 USD.
Thus
, not only time
that is
absorbed, travelling depletes our pocket to zero which can be a problem if our primary necessities have not been fulfilled yet.
On the other hand
, we cannot overlook the diamond behind every journey that we take. Travelling can give us a new insight into some countries which enriches our knowledge.
For instance
, from my opportunity to visit London
last
year, I can learn about the culture and traditions of British people directly in their home country.
As a result
,
this
experience can open up my eyes even wider for many unfamiliar places.
To sum up
, it may be true that travelling is not a cheap thing to do routinely.
However
, I perceive that every single journey gives us irreplaceable worth
such
as knowledge and how we see different cultures that can foster us to cherish it with respect.
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coherence cohesion
Ensure a clear progression of ideas throughout your essay, with each paragraph logically flowing into the next. Use a wider range of cohesive devices to link sentences and ideas more effectively.
task achievement
When discussing different views, ensure that you allocate a balanced amount of discussion to each perspective before providing your own opinion. Your opinion should be a culmination of the discussion and not just stated without sufficient backing.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • broadens horizons
  • cultural exposure
  • tolerance
  • self-reliance
  • overcoming challenges
  • language proficiency
  • sustainable tourism
  • environmental footprint
  • cultural homogenization
  • commercialization
  • responsible travel
  • global understanding
  • eco-friendly practices
  • accessible alternatives
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