Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?

A few public believe that having a huge amount of cash is the primary cause of happiness in
life
. Buying
luxury
goods can make
people
happy, and a healthy
relationship
also
can make
people
happy.
Although
money
is essential to provide a quality
life
, when
people
have a lot of
money
they look for happiness by buying
luxury
products like cars, diamonds etc. The more
money
they spend to make their
life
comfortable, the happier they will be.
For example
, buying a new model of
luxury
car with new features can make their
life
more comfortable and happier. There is no limit to making
life
comfortable to buy new products or any material things.
However
, a Healthy
relationship
is another thing that makes
people
happy in their
life
. Humans are social beings, so they need help and company from other humans. To spend their
life
they need some good friends and a
life
partner.
Moreover
, having a healthy
relationship
with surrounding
people
can be enjoyable.
For instance
, if anyone does not have a good
relationship
with a wife causes daily arguments and painful times which sometimes end with divorce. Just a healthy
relationship
with a wife can make
life
a haven. In conclusion,
money
plays a big role in
people
's daily lives and in obtaining happiness.
However
, if they want
this
joy to
last
, it is important to have spiritual satisfaction
as well as
material contentment. Not only buying
luxury
can make
people
happy but
also
healthy relationships can make
people
happier.
Submitted by haidher301 on

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task achievement
Consider expanding the discussion on how money contributes to happiness by mentioning not only luxury goods, but also security and opportunities in education, healthcare, etc. This will provide a more comprehensive response to the prompt.
task achievement
Avoid repetition of ideas; instead, explore new angles or aspects, such as the impact of financial stability on stress levels or life satisfaction.
task achievement
Use more varied examples or case studies to add depth to arguments and demonstrate their applicability in real-world scenarios.
coherence cohesion
Ensure a smoother transition between the paragraphs for better flow. Consider using cohesive devices like 'furthermore', 'likewise', or 'alternatively' to signal connections between ideas.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction clearly presents the main topic, which sets a clear direction for the essay.
introduction conclusion present
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and provides a final viewpoint on the topic.
supported main points
The main points are supported with examples, such as the discussion about buying luxury cars and maintaining healthy relationships.
logical structure
The essay has a logical structure with a distinct introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, which helps in maintaining clarity.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Financial security
  • Basic needs
  • Comfort
  • Luxury
  • Freedom
  • Altruistic
  • Philanthropy
  • Nurturing relationships
  • Fulfillment
  • Sense of accomplishment
  • Physical well-being
  • Spiritual beliefs
  • Community involvement
  • Gratitude
  • Mindfulness
  • Simple pleasures
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