IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Some think increasing business and cultural contact between nations is positive. Others think it leads to the dissappearance of national identity. Discuss both views and state your own opinion.

#think #business #contact #nations #dissappearance #identity
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays the expansion of business and cultural contact amongst
nations
Use synonyms
 is argued as
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
both positive and negative developments . On the one hand, it is
pretty
Add an article
a pretty
the pretty
show examples
 indecent idea to increase the contract between cultural and business factors among
nations
Use synonyms
, for the reason that it actually disrupts all
nations
Use synonyms
 with some rules stating different rules or
law
Fix the agreement mistake
laws
show examples
 or cultural values and business knowledge.
For instance
Linking Words
, Uzbek and British
nations
Use synonyms
 decided to cooperate
a
Change preposition
with a
show examples
company or share their culture which can impact in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
changing their not only culture but
also
Linking Words
 behaviour and those British people can
also
Linking Words
 decide Uzbek people so
its
Correct your spelling
it's
show examples
 the reason for avoiding contact.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the cooperation is useful and profitable for the reason that international fast food company Wendy's worked with Nickelodeon (a company which usually creates movies and cartoons for children)
for creating
Change preposition
to create
show examples
 a real restaurant in cartoon or Krusty Krab which
then
Linking Words
 succeeded with a popularity are creativity.
In addition
Linking Words
, the cultures
also
Linking Words
 can contact with each other or try to help each other to avoid disappearance if the lack of focus is a major
problems
Change the noun form
problem
show examples
.
Finally
Linking Words
,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 discussed both views and my official opinion states that cooperation can be done in
right
Correct article usage
the right
show examples
 circumstances or as usual it may have some side
affects
Correct your spelling
effects
show examples
.
To conclude
Linking Words
, cooperative working is beneficial and even it outstands the detriments because it may more probably help
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
both teams with harmless destinations.
Submitted by Who is the best? on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

introduction conclusion present
Refine the introduction to clearly outline the main points you will discuss.
logical structure
Make sure each paragraph focuses on a single idea for greater clarity.
relevant specific examples
Provide more relevant examples to support the arguments and make ideas clearer.
complete response
Good effort in presenting both perspectives.
complete response
You have attempted to give an opinion and support it, which addresses the task.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Globalization
  • International cooperation
  • Economic growth
  • Cultural exchange
  • Cultural homogenization
  • Dominant cultures
  • Local economies
  • National heritage
  • Global citizenship
  • Mutual respect
  • Tolerance
What to do next:
Look at other essays: