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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people think that children should begin their formal education at a very early age. Others think they should begin after 7 years of age. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #children #education #age #years
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Many people reckon that starting
education
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 early is beneficial for
children
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;
however
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, others are more drawn to the idea of letting them go to
school
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 after the
age
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 of seven.
While
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 there are equally valid merits of earlier
education
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, I personally believe it is more favourable to delay formal
education
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 until after 7 years of
age
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. On the one hand, proponents of attending schools at a much earlier
age
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 assume that the early commencement of formal
education
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 helps
children
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 acquire comprehensive knowledge. As the brain of
children
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 at a very young
age
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 is more flexible, they can master new skills quickly,
such
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 as reading, writing, critical thinking
as well as
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 social ones.
This
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, in turn, leads them to be more and faster academically successful. I,
on the other hand
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, tend to argue that parents should not rush into sending
children
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 to schools. First and foremost, belated
education
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 allows
children
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 to be both mentally and physically ready for
school
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.
Children
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 who embark on
education
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 after 7 years of
age
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 are more like to deal with a wide range of challenges that
school
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 life presents them than those who start it soon. To be more specific, more mature
children
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 can adapt to a new environment.
Furthermore
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, they can spend much more time with their family.
This
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, in effect, enhances their emotional development, helping them acquire a piece of knowledge efficiently. In conclusion,
while
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 some are in favour that
children
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 should go to
school
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 soon, I am of the opinion that it proves more advantageous
to begin
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education
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 after they get older.
Submitted by Writing9 on

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task achievement
To enhance your task achievement, consider adding specific examples or evidence to support your arguments. This helps to clarify and strengthen your points.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next to improve overall coherence. Linking words and phrases can guide the reader through your discussion more effectively.
introduction conclusion present
The essay presents a clear introduction and conclusion, which frames the discussion well.
task achievement
You have articulated your viewpoint distinctly and supported it with reasoning, indicating a good level of task achievement.
supported main points
The main points are well supported with logical explanations, making the argument coherent.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • cognitive development
  • social skills
  • lifelong love for learning
  • undue pressure
  • young minds
  • emotionally and socially
  • less structured environment
  • play-based learning
  • crucial
  • long-term academic performance
  • well-being
  • balancing early education
  • flexibility
  • best approach
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