Task 2. Too much emphasis is given for the education of students. More government money should be spent on free time activities for young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#emphasis #education #students #government #money #time #activities #people

Some argue that governments place excessive emphasis on funding

education

while

neglecting free-time

activities

for young people.

While

education

is undoubtedly critical for future success, I strongly believe that allocating resources to leisure

activities

is equally important for the well-rounded development of youth.

Firstly

education

equips individuals with the knowledge and skills necessary for their careers. Governments invest heavily in schools, universities, and other learning resources to ensure that students have access to quality

education

However

, prioritizing academics too much can lead to high levels of stress and burnout among young people.

For example

, students in competitive environments often face immense pressure, which negatively impacts their mental health and

overall

performance.

On the other hand

, free-time

activities

such

as sports, art, and music play a vital role in personal growth and well-being. These

activities

not only promote physical and mental health but

also

nurture creativity, teamwork, and problem-solving skills.

For instance

, participation in sports can improve discipline and fitness,

while

engaging in artistic hobbies enhances self-expression and innovation.

Moreover

, leisure

activities

provide a constructive outlet for young people, reducing the likelihood of engaging in harmful behaviours like substance abuse or delinquency. Governments can address

this

by building accessible sports facilities, funding art programs, and establishing community centres.

Such

initiatives give youth the chance to channel their energy positively and develop essential life skills. In conclusion,

while

education

is a cornerstone of government investment, free-time

activities

are equally significant for fostering a healthy, well-rounded generation. Balancing resources between academics and leisure will ensure that young individuals thrive both personally and professionally.

Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on Sat Nov 23 2024

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task achievement

For the task response, ensure that all parts of the prompt are addressed comprehensively. While your essay provides a strong argument, try to include a few more examples to fully illustrate your points.

coherence and cohesion

In terms of coherence and cohesion, the logical flow of the essay is impressive, but make sure each paragraph is distinctly separated with clear transitions, enhancing readability.

coherence and cohesion

The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion with a logical flow of ideas throughout the body paragraphs.

task achievement

Your essay presents a strong task response, balancing the discussion of both education and free-time activities effectively.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

260 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Task 2. Too much emphasis is given for the education of students. More government money should be spent on free time activities for young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

There is a notion that says developed countries should avoid encouraging expert workers of developing countries for emigration, because the poorer countries need their professional workers

Some people think that the success of life is based on hard work and determination. Others, however, believe that there are more important factors, such as having money or a good appearance. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Investor are not as important to society as doctors. To what extent do yo agree with this statement? Give reason and include any relevant example based on your own knowlegde.

Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both views and give your own opinions.

Recent research suggests that the majority of criminals who are sent to prison commit crimes after they are released. Why is this the case?