Task 2. Too much emphasis is given for the education of students. More government money should be spent on free time activities for young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#emphasis #education #students #government #money #time #activities #people

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Some argue that governments place excessive emphasis on funding

education

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while

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neglecting free-time

activities

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for young people.

While

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education

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is undoubtedly critical for future success, I strongly believe that allocating resources to leisure

activities

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is equally important for the well-rounded development of youth.

Firstly

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education

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equips individuals with the knowledge and skills necessary for their careers. Governments invest heavily in schools, universities, and other learning resources to ensure that students have access to quality

education

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However

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, prioritizing academics too much can lead to high levels of stress and burnout among young people.

For example

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, students in competitive environments often face immense pressure, which negatively impacts their mental health and

overall

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performance.

On the other hand

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, free-time

activities

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such

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as sports, art, and music play a vital role in personal growth and well-being. These

activities

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not only promote physical and mental health but

also

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nurture creativity, teamwork, and problem-solving skills.

For instance

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, participation in sports can improve discipline and fitness,

while

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engaging in artistic hobbies enhances self-expression and innovation.

Moreover

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, leisure

activities

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provide a constructive outlet for young people, reducing the likelihood of engaging in harmful behaviours like substance abuse or delinquency. Governments can address

this

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by building accessible sports facilities, funding art programs, and establishing community centres.

Such

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initiatives give youth the chance to channel their energy positively and develop essential life skills. In conclusion,

while

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education

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is a cornerstone of government investment, free-time

activities

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are equally significant for fostering a healthy, well-rounded generation. Balancing resources between academics and leisure will ensure that young individuals thrive both personally and professionally.

Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on Sat Nov 23 2024

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task achievement

For the task response, ensure that all parts of the prompt are addressed comprehensively. While your essay provides a strong argument, try to include a few more examples to fully illustrate your points.

coherence and cohesion

In terms of coherence and cohesion, the logical flow of the essay is impressive, but make sure each paragraph is distinctly separated with clear transitions, enhancing readability.

coherence and cohesion

The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion with a logical flow of ideas throughout the body paragraphs.

task achievement

Your essay presents a strong task response, balancing the discussion of both education and free-time activities effectively.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

260 words

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Task 2. Too much emphasis is given for the education of students. More government money should be spent on free time activities for young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

There is too much noise in many public places in cities. What are the causes of this problem? What can be done to solve the problem?

Some people think the government should provide free housing, while others believe it is not the government’s responsibility. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Many people believe that reducing speed limits is the best option for road safety improvement .do you think there are other measures that could be put in place? what are the advantages and disadvantages of this?

In many countries, people now wear western-style dresses such as suits and jeans rather than traditional clothing. Why is this? Is this a positive or negative development?

Most of the people send text messages rather than calling. Explain the reasons for it. Do you think sending text message is an advantage or disadvantage?