IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

In some countries there are more young people choosing to enrol in work-based training instead of attending university. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

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In several countries today, it is more popular for young generations to take training that
offer
Change the verb form
offers
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 real working
situation
Fix the agreement mistake
situations
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 than to
attending
Wrong verb form
attend
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 university. I strongly agree with
this
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 because these training promote real
work
Use synonyms
skills
Use synonyms
,
while
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 at the same
time
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, enhancing our mental hardiness. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will explain my opinion
further
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.
To begin
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 with,
work
Use synonyms
-based training teaches
skills
Use synonyms
 that are relatable to the working environment. Not only do they learn about hard
skills
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, which are taught in university, but they
also
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 learn soft
skills
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 that are required in
organization
Add an article
the organization
an organization
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.
For instance
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, new recruits usually have a probation
time
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 to adapt to the real
work
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 situation where they will learn leadership, interpersonal communication, and
time
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 management in a real case scenario, not just in a role-play or simulation in their classroom.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 can harden the young's mentality in a professional environment. By immersing the young in actual problems in
work
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, they will learn about the highly competitive atmosphere of professional
work
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, and become more resilient in the future as they have the experience before graduating.
For example
Linking Words
, in training, new recruits are usually the target of exploitation because they tend to agree to help with any
work
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,
however
Linking Words
, because they blend with more senior people with
a more mature points
Correct the article-noun agreement
a more mature point
more mature points
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 of view, they can learn to say no and maintain their
time
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 and energy efficiently. In conclusion, I believe that having
work
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-based training obviously gives significant benefit for young generations as it can promote actual
skills
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 and strengthens their mentality to survive in real
work
Use synonyms
.

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task achievement
Ensure that the main ideas are clearly explained and comprehensively developed. For example, the concept of enhancing 'mental hardiness' could be more explicitly discussed to demonstrate its importance, and a direct comparison with university attendance could further enhance clarity.
task achievement
Use more specific examples to support your arguments, particularly regarding the advantages of work-based training over attending university. Personal experiences, statistics, or case studies can provide a stronger foundation for your points.
coherence cohesion
Ensure smooth transitions between paragraphs and ideas. While your essay is generally well-structured, certain transitions could be clearer to enhance the logical structure of your essay.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are clearly stated, providing a cohesive frame for your argument. Both sections effectively convey your position on the topic.
coherence cohesion
The essay is mostly cohesive, with paragraphs effectively organized around key arguments. Each paragraph supports your overall perspective that work-based training has distinct advantages.
task achievement
You have addressed the prompt well by identifying the potential benefits of work-based training, such as the acquisition of practical skills and mental resilience.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • work-based training
  • enrol
  • university
  • advantages
  • disadvantages
  • practical skills
  • experience
  • workforce
  • employment
  • earnings
  • opportunities
  • further education
  • theoretical knowledge
  • career options
  • exploitation
  • balance
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