In some countries there are more young people choosing to enrol in work-based training instead of attending university. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?
In several countries today, it is more popular for young generations to take training that
offer
real working Change the verb form
offers
situation
than to Fix the agreement mistake
situations
attending
university. I strongly agree with Wrong verb form
attend
this
because these training promote real Linking Words
work
Use synonyms
skills
, Use synonyms
while
at the same Linking Words
time
, enhancing our mental hardiness. In Use synonyms
this
essay, I will explain my opinion Linking Words
further
.
Linking Words
To begin
with, Linking Words
work
-based training teaches Use synonyms
skills
that are relatable to the working environment. Not only do they learn about hard Use synonyms
skills
, which are taught in university, but they Use synonyms
also
learn soft Linking Words
skills
that are required in Use synonyms
organization
. Add an article
the organization
an organization
For instance
, new recruits usually have a probation Linking Words
time
to adapt to the real Use synonyms
work
situation where they will learn leadership, interpersonal communication, and Use synonyms
time
management in a real case scenario, not just in a role-play or simulation in their classroom.
Use synonyms
Secondly
, Linking Words
this
can harden the young's mentality in a professional environment. By immersing the young in actual problems in Linking Words
work
, they will learn about the highly competitive atmosphere of professional Use synonyms
work
, and become more resilient in the future as they have the experience before graduating. Use synonyms
For example
, in training, new recruits are usually the target of exploitation because they tend to agree to help with any Linking Words
work
, Use synonyms
however
, because they blend with more senior people with Linking Words
a more mature points
of view, they can learn to say no and maintain their Correct the article-noun agreement
a more mature point
more mature points
time
and energy efficiently.
In conclusion, I believe that having Use synonyms
work
-based training obviously gives significant benefit for young generations as it can promote actual Use synonyms
skills
and strengthens their mentality to survive in real Use synonyms
work
.Use synonyms
Submitted by 000silr111 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
Ensure that the main ideas are clearly explained and comprehensively developed. For example, the concept of enhancing 'mental hardiness' could be more explicitly discussed to demonstrate its importance, and a direct comparison with university attendance could further enhance clarity.
task achievement
Use more specific examples to support your arguments, particularly regarding the advantages of work-based training over attending university. Personal experiences, statistics, or case studies can provide a stronger foundation for your points.
coherence cohesion
Ensure smooth transitions between paragraphs and ideas. While your essay is generally well-structured, certain transitions could be clearer to enhance the logical structure of your essay.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are clearly stated, providing a cohesive frame for your argument. Both sections effectively convey your position on the topic.
coherence cohesion
The essay is mostly cohesive, with paragraphs effectively organized around key arguments. Each paragraph supports your overall perspective that work-based training has distinct advantages.
task achievement
You have addressed the prompt well by identifying the potential benefits of work-based training, such as the acquisition of practical skills and mental resilience.
Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic
IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.
Answer structure for the type of essay
- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – advantages
- Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
- Conclusion
Examples to start your body paragraph:
- The main advantage is...
- The disadvantage of this...
- The main benefit...
- Despite these advantages...
- One possible drawback...