Some people think that the teenage years are the happiest time of most people’s lives. Others think that adult life brings more happiness, in spite of greater responsibility. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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It is believed by some that adolescent

years

are the happiest period of most people’s lives,

while

others believe that adulthood brings more content, despite having more responsibilities.

Although

teenagers obtain new

experiences

in their teenage

years

, I believe that

adults

can enjoy

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the things they have accomplished. On the one hand,

experiences

that adolescents gain before

their

Correct pronoun usage

they

show examples

reach adulthood make them happy.

This

is because many teenagers get more freedom to do the things that they like without being controlled by their parents. A sense of freedom gives them

opportunity

Add an article

the opportunity

an opportunity

show examples

to socialise with their contemporaries and many of them fall in love for the first time. These are unprecedented

experiences

that

makes

Change the verb form

make

show examples

them feel very happy.

For example

, many dwellers of Sarajevo have said that

teenage

Correct pronoun usage

their teenage

show examples

years

were the happiest

years

of their lives.

However

, I think that adolescents do not know what

Remove the article

apply

show examples

real happiness is at

such

a young age.

On the other hand

adults

can appreciate the things they have achieved.

This

is to say that many

adults

set goals when they were younger,

such

as having prosperous careers, because they knew achieving their goals would make them content. They worked hard to get closer to their goals, and when they

finally

achieved their targets, they felt contentment.

For instance

, many Bosnians dreamed about owning a property, and after purchasing housing they were ecstatic.

Therefore

, I believe that

adults

can value happiness at a greater level. In conclusion,

although

pre-adulthood brings new

experiences

, I believe that

adults

enjoy the perks of their hard work.

Submitted by rahman_rehana on Wed Oct 02 2024

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task achievement

Your essay presents a clear response to the task and successfully discusses both views, as well as providing your opinion. However, expanding on your ideas and including more specific examples could enhance the strength of your arguments.

coherence cohesion

While your essay has a logical structure with clear paragraphs, some of the transitions between ideas could be smoother. Consider using a wider range of cohesive devices.

coherence cohesion

You have effectively provided an introduction and conclusion, framing the essay well.

coherence cohesion

Your main points are well-supported, and you include relevant examples to back them up, which enhances the clarity of your arguments.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

259 words

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Some people think that the teenage years are the happiest time of most people’s lives. Others think that adult life brings more happiness, in spite of greater responsibility. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

Some people say History is one of the most important school subjects. Other people think that in today's world subjects like Science and technology are more important than History. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Now a days, many people have to work longer hours, and they feel more stressed out than before. What are the reasons? What can employers do to make their employees' lives easier?

Many university students want to learn about different subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others feel it is important to give all their time and attention to studying for their qualification. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

If a person is found to be under the influence of drugs or alcohol while driving, they should be banned from driving for life, whether they were involved in an accident or not. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In some countries university students live at home with their family while they study, whereas in other countries students attend university in another city. Do you think the benefits of living away from home during university outweigh the disadvantages?