In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem

Agriculture has been advancing throughout the years, resulting in a more refined system that leads to an increase in cultivation and
food
production. In fact, the world still holds a high number in lacking
food
consumption even ironically leading to starvation.
This
situation may have various factors, including inequality of
food
distribution
, which needs to be advocated to the officials regarding the rules of it. An unfairness in
food
distribution
can be impacted by several aspects
such
as the regulations of the kinds of transportation and the area
that is
given.
Moreover
, the target of it would be a crucial aspect, which is to determine who will be provided by it.
For example
, the officials often make a wrong target, which gives any positive outcomes and impacts to the hunger population.
Hence
, the issue would not be solved for a long period of time since they
implement
Wrong verb form
implemented
show examples
it incorrectly.
Furthermore
, the most essential part that needs to be evaluated is the system of
food
distribution
, considering it gets a fund from the government to conduct it.
However
, it would be a challenging aspect that needs to be improved because controlling other peoples' perspectives,
particulary
Correct your spelling
particularly
about money and their behaviours.
For instance
, I have seen a case
aboout
Correct your spelling
about
a video of
this
food
distribution
program in a rural village
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
cutting off the funding for their personal matters, whilst it should be allocated for the program.
Therefore
, I believe
Change preposition
in strenghtening
show examples
strenghtening
Correct your spelling
strengthening
the regulations and
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
consequency
Correct your spelling
consequences
for those people. To summarize, despite the advanced agriculture
has
Correct pronoun usage
that has
show examples
occurred, the factors that contribute to a hunger situation can be simply found,
such
as weak regulations.
Nevertheless
, society and government should try to raise awareness about the condition of a terrible
food
distribution
system,
then
tightening
Wrong verb form
tighten
show examples
the rules for it.
Submitted by hanalyaa29 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Work on improving the clarity of your ideas. Try to organize paragraphs more effectively so that each paragraph has a clear main point that ties back to the main question. This will improve how comprehensive and clear your ideas are presented.
task achievement
You should use more specific examples to strengthen your argument. This will make your essay more persuasive and show a higher level of task achievement.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each point is logically connected, so your essay has a better flow. Enhance linking within and between paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
You have included both an introduction and a conclusion, which help structure your essay well.
task achievement
You addressed both parts of the prompt by identifying causes and potential solutions to the problem.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • inequality
  • distribution
  • access to resources
  • climate change
  • natural disasters
  • political factors
  • economic factors
  • agricultural practices
  • infrastructure
  • transportation
  • population growth
  • education
  • knowledge
  • food waste
What to do next:
Look at other essays: