In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem

#spite #advances #agriculture #people #world #case

Agriculture has been advancing throughout the years, resulting in a more refined system that leads to an increase in cultivation and

food

production. In fact, the world still holds a high number in lacking

food

consumption even ironically leading to starvation.

This

situation may have various factors, including inequality of

food

distribution

, which needs to be advocated to the officials regarding the rules of it. An unfairness in

food

distribution

can be impacted by several aspects

such

as the regulations of the kinds of transportation and the area

that is

given.

Moreover

, the target of it would be a crucial aspect, which is to determine who will be provided by it.

For example

, the officials often make a wrong target, which gives any positive outcomes and impacts to the hunger population.

Hence

, the issue would not be solved for a long period of time since they

implement

Wrong verb form

implemented

show examples

it incorrectly.

Furthermore

, the most essential part that needs to be evaluated is the system of

food

distribution

, considering it gets a fund from the government to conduct it.

However

, it would be a challenging aspect that needs to be improved because controlling other peoples' perspectives,

particulary

Correct your spelling

particularly

about money and their behaviours.

For instance

, I have seen a case

aboout

Correct your spelling

about

a video of

this

food

distribution

program in a rural village

Change preposition

apply

show examples

cutting off the funding for their personal matters, whilst it should be allocated for the program.

Therefore

, I believe

Change preposition

in strenghtening

show examples

strenghtening

Correct your spelling

strengthening

the regulations and

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

consequency

Correct your spelling

consequences

for those people. To summarize, despite the advanced agriculture

has

Correct pronoun usage

that has

show examples

occurred, the factors that contribute to a hunger situation can be simply found,

such

as weak regulations.

Nevertheless

, society and government should try to raise awareness about the condition of a terrible

food

distribution

system,

then

tightening

Wrong verb form

tighten

show examples

the rules for it.

Submitted by hanalyaa29 on Fri Nov 15 2024

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task achievement

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coherence cohesion

Ensure each point is logically connected, so your essay has a better flow. Enhance linking within and between paragraphs.

coherence cohesion

You have included both an introduction and a conclusion, which help structure your essay well.

task achievement

You addressed both parts of the prompt by identifying causes and potential solutions to the problem.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

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You essay structure should look something like this:

Introduction
Body paragraph 1 – Problems
Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

One of the first problems of the...
Another problem that needs to be considered...
A possible solution to this problem would be...
One immediate practical solution is to...

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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

295 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

inequality
distribution
access to resources
climate change
natural disasters
political factors
economic factors
agricultural practices
infrastructure
transportation
population growth
education
knowledge
food waste

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In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

The increasing presence of multinational companies and globalization is believed by some to have positive implications for everyone involved. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In many countries, children are becoming overweight and unhealthy. Some people think that the government should have the responsibility. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that the government should provide free housing, while others think that it is not the government’s responsibility. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people think that going to a fitness centers regularly is unnecessary. Instead they believe the combining occasional exercise (such as going for walk) with a balanced diet is enough to stay healthy. To what extent do you agree or disagree.