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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows information about changes in average house prices in five different cities between 1990 and 1995 compared with the average house prices in 1996 to 2002. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparison where relevant.

The chart below shows information about changes in average house prices in five different cities between 1990 and 1995 compared with the average house prices in 1996 to 2002. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparison where relevant.
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The bar chart depicts a comparison of the percentage change in average house
prices
Use synonyms
 in five different cities between the
period
Use synonyms
 of 1990 and 1995 to 1996 and 2002.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the price for London houses
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
 lower by more than 5% in the first time span, which is the
period
Use synonyms
 between 1990-1995,
while
Linking Words
 it significantly surged and reached approximately 11% higher in the next span.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, other cities
such
Linking Words
 as New York
also
Linking Words
 experienced a similar increase in price scenario, which started from a drop of 5%, and transformed to a positive position of 5%.
Conversely
Linking Words
, Tokyo was the city with the least change to
positive
Add an article
the positive
show examples
 trend of house
prices
Use synonyms
 during the given time from approximately -7% in the beginning and just
reached
Wrong verb form
reaching
show examples
 -5% by the end of the span.
In contrast
Linking Words
, during the
period
Use synonyms
 1990-1995, changes
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 cost in Frankfurt increased by 3%.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
,
afterwards
Add a comma
afterwards,
show examples
 it fell down by 2% in 1996-2002.
Lastly
Linking Words
, Madrid gained a slight increase in the average
prices
Use synonyms
 of houses which stayed under 5% from 1990 to 2002. From an
overall
Linking Words
 perspective, it was easy to see that house costs fell significantly in Tokyo, London and New York in the
period
Use synonyms
 1990-1995,
while
Linking Words
 for 1996-2002
prices
Use synonyms
 showed an upward trend, especially in London.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words prices, period with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "change" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "fell" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "significantly" was used 2 times.
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