IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

WRITING TASK 2 You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic: Convenience foods will become increasingly prevalent and eventually replace traditional foods and traditional methods of food preparation. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

#minutes #topic #convenience #foods #methods #food #preparation
In recent years, some
individuals
argue
Wrong verb form
have argued
show examples
 that
convenience
foods
 are likely to become more predominant and could eventually take
place
Correct article usage
the place
show examples
 of traditional
foods
 and cooking methods.
While
 I agree with some aspects of the argument, I disagree with its
overall
 conclusion. In
this
 essay, I will demonstrate my reasons
along with
 relevant examples and a balanced view. With many
people
 leading fast-paced lives,
convenience
foods
 offer quick and easy options. Ready-made
meals
 or instant
foods
 save time and
efforts
Fix the agreement mistake
effort
show examples
, making them ideal for
individuals
who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
with busy schedules
such
 as students and working professionals, they solely have a few hours to have a meal.
While
 some
people
 prefer that
convenience
foods
 will
becoming
Change the verb form
become
be becoming
show examples
 more common, the opposite is true for instant
foods
 may not replace traditional
foods
. First of all, there
has
Verb problem
is
show examples
 cultural significance of traditional
foods
. Traditional
meals
 are deeply rooted in culture and heritage.Many
individuals
 continue to value and preserve
this culinary traditions
Change the determiner
this culinary tradition
these culinary traditions
show examples
, seeing them as part of
them
Change the pronoun
their
show examples
 identity, social gatherings and celebrations.
For instance
, holiday
meals
 and family receipts are often irreplaceable with
convenience
foods
, and it is etiquette.
Secondly
, there are some health problems. Many
convenience
foods
 are high in preservatives, artificial
flavors
Change the spelling
flavours
show examples
 and unhealthy fats.
In contrast
, traditional
foods
 always focus on fresh and original ingredients, which can be healthier. The increasing focus on healthy eating has
lead
Wrong verb form
led
show examples
 many citizens to prefer homemade and nutritious
meals
.
In addition
, most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
emphasizing
Wrong verb form
emphasise
show examples
 the quality and taste of
meal
Fix the agreement mistake
meals
show examples
. For lots of
people
, traditional
meals
 are
more
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
fresher and
more
Add a missing verb
have more
show examples
flavors
Change the spelling
flavours
show examples
 than instant
foods
.
Convenience
 food despite developments, may still lack the quality and authenticity of home-cooked
meals
. In brief,
although
convenience
foods
 are likely to become more prevalent
due to
 modern lifestyle, it is improbable they will entirely supplant traditional
foods
 and cooking methods. Traditional
foods
 hold
culture
Replace the word
cultural
show examples
, health and quality benefits that many
individuals
 value. And in my opinion,
instead
Add a comma
instead,
show examples
foods
 may continue to coexist alongside traditional
meals
. Serving different needs and preferences.
Submitted by ysh424 on

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task achievement
Make sure your main points are clearly supported with examples or explanations that enhance the argument, as some ideas like the cultural significance of traditional foods could be expanded further.
coherence cohesion
Try to create smoother transitions between sentences and paragraphs to enhance the flow of the essay.
coherence cohesion
The introduction effectively outlines your stance and the conclusion brings together your arguments well.
task achievement
You attempt to provide a balanced view by acknowledging both sides of the argument, which is commendable.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • convenience foods
  • nutritional value
  • cultural heritage
  • culinary traditions
  • food technology
  • environmental concerns
  • sustainable ingredients
  • food production
  • prevalence
  • awareness of healthy eating
  • traditional recipes
  • cultural diversity
  • culinary identity
  • packaging waste
What to do next:
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