IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below gives information on the numbers of participants for different activities at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. https://practicepteonline.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/09/test-121-min.png

The graph below gives information on the numbers of participants for different activities at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. https://practicepteonline.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/09/test-121-min.png
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The graph given indicates the number of activity
participants
Use synonyms
 of a social centre located in Melbourne, between the years 2000 and 2020.
Overall
Linking Words
, we can see dramatic changes in Table tennis, Musical performance and
Amatrue
Correct your spelling
Amateur
 dramatics, but other activities didn't face much
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
change.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, the most drastic change belongs to Table tennis, with
almost
Correct article usage
an almost
show examples
 5 times bigger audience over
time
Add an article
the time
a time
show examples
 period, starting at 16
participants
Use synonyms
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 2000 and reaching above 50
participants
Use synonyms
 in 2020. The next activity which increased
noticably
Correct your spelling
noticeably
is
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
 Musical performance, which began with almost no
participants
Use synonyms
 and by 2005, it started gaining more attractions, reaching about 20
participants
Use synonyms
 by 2020. As shown in the graph, there is a big fall in one of the activities. Amateur dramatics faced a decrease since 2005, starting from 26 and reaching 6
participants
Use synonyms
 by 2020. Other activities including
film
Correct article usage
the film
show examples
 club, which holds the first place among
number
Change the article
a number
the number
show examples
 of
participants
Use synonyms
 and martial arts, stayed almost the same, with little to no change over the course of 20 years.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words participants with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 3 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • participation rates
  • trends
  • significant increases/decreases
  • stable numbers
  • fluctuations
  • overall participation
  • comparison
  • activities
  • social centre
  • Melbourne
  • participants
  • highlight
  • report
  • graph illustrates/demonstrates
  • 20-year period
  • key features
  • main features
  • statistical data
  • variations
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