IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

It is possible that children will learn by computers or robots in the future. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development

#children #computers #robots #future #development
It is widely believed that our kids will be taught by computers and robots in the near future.
Although
this
 statement can be considered controversial, as there are its own pros and cons,
this
 essay presents my own viewpoint
whether
Change preposition
on whether
show examples
 it features a beneficial effect or not, checking the validity of both arguments. One of the main reasons why people share
this
 opinion is the advent and rapid development of the Internet and related fields. In today's digital age, many professions are replaced by artificial intelligence, since knowledge improvements in IT-related fields made computer machines able to perform previous workers' tasks at the same level, if not better. Unfortunately, teachers and educators are most likely to be substituted
next,
since they belong to the same category, and
that is
 exactly why it is possible that individuals will learn by computers.
On the other hand
, others firmly believe that machines are not capable of replacing actual people, as they know nothing about feelings and can not provide personal feedback. Despite huge advancements in technology, the overwhelming majority of robots are still not able to carry out assigned tasks.
Therefore
, the desired feedback and emotional support will be provided in the very distant future, erasing anxiety from teachers from the fear of losing their jobs. In conclusion,
although
 it might feature some potential drawbacks, I think that it is essential for humans not to implement
this
 technique in the present education system, since it is already going through hard times.
Submitted by shermadovs on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
In the introduction, clearly state your position to make it easier for readers to follow your argument throughout the essay.
coherence cohesion
While you do present two sides of the argument, make sure each paragraph supports a distinct point, keeping it organized and easy to follow.
task achievement
Include specific examples to strengthen your arguments, demonstrating a deep understanding of the topic.
task achievement
Consider elaborating on each point with additional detail, focusing on how computers or robots might specifically impact different areas of learning.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are clearly present, effectively framing the essay.
task achievement
The essay attempts to address both sides of the debate, showing an understanding of the complexity of the issue.
coherence cohesion
There is a logical structure to the essay, moving from the introduction to the body and then to the conclusion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: