IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The food travels thousands of miles from farm to consumer. Some people think it would be better to our environment and economy if people only ate locally produced food. To what extent does the advantage outweigh the disadvantage?

#food #thousands #miles #farm #consumer #people #environment #economy #advantage
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People
Change noun form
People's
show examples
 consumption habits can influence to environment and
economy
Replace the word
economic
show examples
 life. The example is about
food
, especially local
food
. The
food
 we consume every day is generally
food
 that comes from farmers who produce crops in rural areas. The
food
 travels thousands of miles
form
Correct your spelling
from
show examples
 farm to consumer with prior management between farmers and distributors before the
food
 is consumed by
people
. Some
people
 think it would be better
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 our environment and
economy
 if
people
 only ate locally produced
food
. In my opinion, one of the major advantages of consuming locally produced
food
 is the significant reduction in carbon emissions that would result from transporting
food
 over long distances.
This
 can lead to better air quality and contribute to mitigating climate change.
Beside
Replace the word
Besides
show examples
 that, local
food
 consumption helps boost the
economy
 by supporting local farmers and businesses, which can lead to job creation and a more resilient local
economy
. Eating locally can lead to fresher, more nutritious
food
 options because the produce is not subjected to long storage times or long-distance shipping. On the downside, relying solely on local
food
 might limit consumer choices, especially in certain regions that cannot produce a wide variety of foods
due to
 climate or soil conditions. The cost of local
food
 might be higher compared to imported alternatives, potentially leading to higher living expenses for consumers. There might be seasonal limitations to
food
 availability if relying only on local produce, affecting the year-round availability of certain
food
 items. In conclusion, there are advantages and disadvantages to our environment and
economy
 if
people
 only
ate
Wrong verb form
eat
show examples
locally produced
Add a hyphen
locally-produced
show examples
food
.
Submitted by imeldarosari6 on

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task achievement
Try to provide more specific examples to support your points. For instance, mention specific local foods or regions that exemplify the benefits or drawbacks discussed.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that your argument flows logically by explicitly linking advantages and disadvantages with phrases that connect them directly back to the main question of the essay.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion effectively outline and wrap up the main points of your essay.
task achievement
You have a clear understanding of both sides of the argument, which helps in presenting a balanced view.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • carbon emissions
  • carbon footprint
  • locally sourced
  • sustainable farming
  • food miles
  • supply chain
  • economic resilience
  • nutritional value
  • cultural diversity
  • food security
  • seasonality
  • imported goods
  • environmental impact
  • local economy
  • fresh produce
  • agricultural diversity
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