IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Currently children have less responsibilities than they had in the past some say this is a good change some argue that it had negative effect on children. Discuss both views and give your opinion based on your personal experience.

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These days,
people
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's lifestyles are so varied from the prior.
For example
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, presently, young
people
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 have fewer responsibilities than the population whose ages were as them in the previous time;
moreover
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, a group of
people
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 have a positive opinion of
this
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 happening
while
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 other
people
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 think that
this
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 evidence impacts
children
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. I subscribe to the second idea owing to the fact that when
children
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 in the young ages have the duties, in the future they will be
people
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 who
work
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 very well. On the one hand, if
children
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 do not have responsibilities in their house, they can manage their time only for their
work
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.
In other words
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, in these families only parents manage the whole happening and do housework;
additionally
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, their
children
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 like the guests in their house.
In addition
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,
children
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 spend their time doing homework, exercise, entertainment, and so on.
On the other hand
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, when
children
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 do not learn the fact that they should
work
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 in their homes and have a duty, in the future, they won't be able to handle their job and their housework. To illustrate,
children
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 whose parents do not do all their
work
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 learn to set timetables for both their
work
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 and other elements that have to do;
furthermore
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, these communities know what should they do when they are alone and far from their families;
consequently
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, these
people
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 will be a good generation who have a high yield in their job.
To sum up
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, in my view, the main factor that helps youth to improve their ability to live individually in the future and become good workers is that they have a range of responsibilities when they are
children
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.

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task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your points and illustrate your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Aim for clearer topic sentences that set up each paragraph’s main idea effectively.
task achievement
The essay provides a balanced discussion of both views regarding children's responsibilities today versus the past.
coherence cohesion
There is a clear introduction that sets up the topic and presents the thesis, and a conclusion that summarizes the main points effectively.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Responsibilities
  • Extracurricular activities
  • Well-rounded development
  • Hobbies
  • Stress
  • Pressure
  • Creative
  • Curious
  • Life skills
  • Problem-solving
  • Time management
  • Independence
  • Entitlement
  • Dependency
  • Challenges
  • Discipline
  • Balanced development
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