Some people believe that watching TV is bad for children while others claim it has positive effect for children as they grow up. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people think that
children
shouldn'
t
watch
TV
,
whereas
others believe that it can be helpful as they grow up. From my perspective, there are more advantages than disadvantages.  Some parents won'
t
be happy with seeing their kids watching
TV
. They believe it is too early for them to get familiar with it. They would claim that young people should learn things from schools or books.
Children
usually cannot control
themsleves
Correct your spelling
themselves
and they can get easily distracted.
Also
, they don'
t
want their child to get exposed to unhealthy
contents
Fix the agreement mistake
content
show examples
.
For example
, some programmes and series often have violent scenes and we hear unpleasant words as well. 
On the other hand
, other adults would agree with the idea of
children
watching
TV
. They would argue that, even from
TVs
Fix the agreement mistake
TV
show examples
, there are things they can learn. I don'
t
think that all
TV
programmes are bad. Schools sometimes use them as educational sources. When I was younger, I used to watch documentaries in schools and it helped me a lot understand subjects more clearly.
For instance
, I watched videos about wildlife, science
or
Correct word choice
and
show examples
sometimes even social issues. Parents can show their
children
these kinds of programmes, so they can have a broader knowledge of different categories.
Furthermore
, in terms of socialising,
TV
shows can be beneficial. Maybe they can make friends
talking
Change preposition
by talking
show examples
about their favourite animation or famous bands. It will help them have common interests and
interect
Correct your spelling
interact
with their peers, which is a crucial part of childhood.  In conclusion, despite both views, parents can use
TV
as a useful tool to educate their son or daughter. I still believe watching
TV
has more benefits than drawbacks.
Submitted by dob.jeong on

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task achievement
Ensure that each main point is fully developed with specific examples and explanation to enhance clarity.
coherence cohesion
Strive for smoother transitions between different points of view for even better coherence.
coherence cohesion
The essay provides a well-structured introduction and conclusion, presenting a clear opinion.
task achievement
Relevant examples, such as educational TV programs, enrich the discussion and support the argument effectively.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • exposure
  • inappropriate content
  • moral and ethical development
  • sedentary behavior
  • obesity
  • academic performance
  • intellectual growth
  • educational TV programs
  • cognitive skills
  • problem-solving
  • critical thinking
  • language acquisition
  • listening skills
  • entertainment and relaxation
  • family bonding
  • parental guidance
  • age-appropriate
  • viewing time
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