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Band 4

nowdays many people travel do you think advantages of this outweigh disadvantages

#nowdays #people #travel #outweigh
At present, a huge number of people are travelling in order to alleviate stress and expand their knowledge. Some claim that
this
 has an adverse effect on the living society
while
 I am a proponent of the view that the benefits of
this
 exceed the drawbacks.
This
 essay will elucidate both the merits and the downsides of
this
 phenomenon. There is a myriad of advantages to taking journeys. Primarily,
this
 allows people to reduce stress.
For example
, if people go on holidays in Southeast countries like Vietnam, they are able to have a pleasant time, allowing them to get rid of their problems and empty their minds.
Thus
 travelling is crucial to maintaining one's mental well-being.
Submitted by pandatvin3 on

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task achievement
Consider expanding on the cons of traveling to present a more balanced view.
task achievement
Include more specific examples to support your arguments, as this can strengthen your reasoning.
coherence cohesion
Make sure to create a conclusion that wraps up your essay and summarizes your main points.
coherence cohesion
Ensure all paragraphs are directly connected and follow a clear, logical progression from one to the next.
coherence cohesion
The introduction is clear and effectively states your position on the topic.
coherence cohesion
The essay provides a clear main point about the mental health benefits of traveling, which is well articulated.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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