Nowadays parents put too much pressure on their children to succeed. What is the reason for doing this? Is it a negative or positive development? Give your explanation using some relevant examples from your experience.
Putting extra
pressure
on children
to achieve success has become a vital topic of debate. While
some parents
encourage children
in accurate measures to become successfull
, others put excessive Correct your spelling
successful
pressure
on their children
to achieve their goals and ambitions. Although
there are various reasons such
as a fauiler
personal experience .I strongly believe that Correct your spelling
failure
this
trend can gradually result
in harmful consequences such
as a depresion
feeling, which will be discussed.
Correct your spelling
depressed
Firstly
, feeling a sense of success and fulfilment among individuals, particularly the younger generation can offer various benefits such
as happier societies
. Therefore
both parents
and societies
frequently exsert
Correct your spelling
exert
encountless
Correct your spelling
countless
pressure
on children
to becoming
successful as Change the form of the verb
become
a
mature. Correct article usage
apply
Additionally
if Add a comma
Additionally,
parents
struggle to achieve their goals in their personal lives, they might put extra pressure
on their children
rather than encourage them in accurate strategies, to follow their personal ambititions
. A prime illustration is a mother who has always Correct your spelling
ambitions
a
Correct article usage
apply
dream
of being a doctor. Wrong verb form
dreamed
As a
result
, these parents
make an effort to equipe
Correct your spelling
equip
children
with extra pressure
such
as a
numerous different educational Correct article usage
apply
curriculum
for becoming successful in Fix the agreement mistake
curricula
the
Correct article usage
apply
futher
education.
Correct your spelling
further
future
On the other hand
, this
approach can significantly contribute to harmful effects for both societies
and children
. Thus
, putting extra pressure
on children
not only can lead to unhappier and unsuistainable
Correct your spelling
unsustainable
sustainable
societies
but also
can decrease a sense of confident
among Replace the word
confidence
children
. As a
result
, these children
as young adaults
are likely to challenge with various emotional problems Correct your spelling
adults
such
as stress and depresion
in the future. Correct your spelling
depression
For instance
, consider a student who is overwelmed
with his extra Correct your spelling
overwhelmed
curriculem
program and does not have Correct your spelling
curriculum
curricular
enought
free time to play like other pers, So Correct your spelling
enough
This
child might encounter with
various emotional challenges Change preposition
apply
such
as feeling abandence
and Correct your spelling
abundance
abandoned
isolation
.
In conclusion, Replace the word
isolated
Although
a significant number of parents
are interested in putting extra pressure
on their children
, due to
various reasons including their personal fauiler
experiences, Correct your spelling
family
failure
this
trend can result
in negative consequences such
as the
increase in feeling Correct article usage
an
Change preposition
of depresion
depresion
and distress among Correct your spelling
depression
children
.Submitted by eskandari.mahanz66 on
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coherence cohesion
Try to improve the logical flow of your arguments. For instance, make sure each sentence logically follows from the previous one to make your argument easier to follow.
task achievement
Avoid small grammatical errors, such as subject-verb agreement and spelling. These can distract readers from your arguments.
task achievement
Use more specific examples to reinforce your points. This strengthens your arguments and helps clarify your ideas.
coherence cohesion
The structure of your essay is clear, with a good introduction and conclusion.
task achievement
You have addressed the task effectively and offered a reasonable stance supported by examples.