Today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult such as sahara desert and Antarctic. What are the benefits and disadvantages for tourists who visit such places?
There is an increasing trend among
the
youngsters today Correct article usage
apply
of visiting
new and exotic Change preposition
to visit
places
all over the world, such
as Sahara
and Antarctica.Exploring Correct article usage
the Sahara
such
places
with extreme weather and harsh living conditions promotes the feeling of achievements
and reeling the beauty of these scenarios Fix the agreement mistake
achievement
become
the source of income for many. Correct subject-verb agreement
becomes
However
these hotspots can cause facilities and serious Add a comma
However,
health related
issues.
The major advantage of excursion through Add a hyphen
health-related
places
like Sahara
Desert and Correct article usage
the Sahara
Antarctic
is feeling fulfilled and motivated. Correct article usage
the Antarctic
That is
to say
a person Add a comma
say,
become
more positively futuristic about the harsh Change the verb form
becomes
life
shotcomes
that Correct your spelling
outcomes
life
has to offer and facing these harsh conditions make
him feel more confident in himself. Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
Moreover
, tourists these days, capture the beauty of these places
through their devices and upload them online for the world to see that
ultimately Correct word choice
apply
help
them get more views and become Wrong verb form
helping
stable
source of Add an article
a stable
their
income the travel blogger, Correct pronoun usage
apply
for example
, earn
thousands of dollars for uploading videos of unapproachable Correct subject-verb agreement
earns
places
.
The disadvantages on the other hand
or nothing but the serious danger of risking life
and lifelong tragedy that can ruin someone's life
and health, the extreme weather conditions of places
like the scorching heat can cause problems like skin cancers, and even tourist
can end up having third-degree burns. Fix the agreement mistake
tourists
Due to the
limited resources and outdated health facilities of these areas make the small engineering become a Change preposition
The
life
-threatening cause. For example
, reports of falling of tourists from the steeps
of Antarctica and Correct your spelling
streets
unaccessible
medical facilities caused Correct your spelling
inaccessible
tourist
to lose Fix the agreement mistake
tourists
life
or become handicapped for the rest of their lives.
In conclusion, exploring new places
can be beneficial for someone by helping them to motivate and feel successful, but the sites and the risk of losing like
make it unworthy of the risk.Change preposition
apply
Submitted by arvindpreet5040 on
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Coherence
Provide clearer and more organized structure to enhance readability. Consider using separate paragraphs for each advantage and disadvantage.
Cohesion
Ensure continuity in argument development by connecting points more effectively. Transitions between ideas can be smoother.
Task Achievement
Expand on each main point to provide a fuller response. Adding more examples will help support arguments better.
Task Achievement
The essay clearly identifies both benefits and disadvantages of visiting extreme places like the Sahara Desert and Antarctica.
Coherence
There is a thoughtful attempt to balance the discussion by covering both sides of the argument.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?
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