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Writing Samples
Band 3.5

International tourism is more common these days than ever before. Some feel that this is a positive trend, while others do not. What is your opinion on this?

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Introduction
In
Change the preposition
At
show examples
this
Linking Words
 moment, international
tourism
Use synonyms
 is more familiar rather than before. Some
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
show examples
 argue that it can
brings
Change the verb form
bring
show examples
 a positive
affect
Correct your spelling
effect
show examples
,
while
Linking Words
 others do not. In my opinion,
this
Linking Words
 phenomenon would be good for developed
countries
Use synonyms
 but
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 not well for poor
countries
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.
Body paragraph 1
As I have said before, for some
countries
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such
Linking Words
 as
The united
Correct your spelling
the United
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kingdom
Capitalize word
Kingdom
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,
The united
Correct your spelling
the United
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states
Capitalize word
States
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, China,
Rusia
Correct your spelling
Russia
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, Singapore and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
others
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
 developed
countries
Use synonyms
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
it will be profitable
for
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apply
show examples
them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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. It is because
,
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apply
show examples
 If
tourism
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travel
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travels
show examples
 to those
countries
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 that can make economical
increasely
Correct your spelling
increasingly
.
For example
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
strangers buy food from local
areas
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 that they
are visited
Wrong verb form
visit
show examples
 and the money can
helpfull for
Verb problem
help
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 the seller.
Body paragraph 2
Additionally
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,
these
Correct determiner usage
this
show examples
 cycle is really will make
boomed in
Verb problem
it
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 economical between
Correct article usage
the goverment
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goverment
Correct your spelling
government
 and
citizen
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citizens
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.
Body paragraph 3
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the poor
countries
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not
Add a missing verb
are not
show examples
 balanced with the strangers.
As a result
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, there are many
countries
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 backwards
such
Linking Words
 as
zimbabwe
Capitalize word
Zimbabwe
show examples
, and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
others
like
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apply
show examples
that do
robbed
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rob
show examples
 or even scam
to
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apply
show examples
tourism
Use synonyms
.
Body paragraph 4
Therefore
Linking Words
, it certainly will not
good
Add a missing verb
be good
show examples
 to visit or even travel to these
areas
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.
Futhermore
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
tourism
Use synonyms
 likely brings
story
Fix the agreement mistake
stories
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 about
what
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
just their visit to another person and
this
Linking Words
not
Add a missing verb
is not
show examples
 good for the bad location.
Conclusion
Summary up
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In summary
show examples
, I believe that there
many
Add a missing verb
are many
show examples
 factors to
decided
Change the form of the verb
decide
show examples
 about
this
Linking Words
 statement well or bad, but commonly poor
countries
Use synonyms
 will
be
Verb problem
find
show examples
 more
hard
Correct word choice
harder
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 for
stranger
Fix the agreement mistake
strangers
show examples
 than
wealth
Replace the word
wealthy
show examples
areas
Use synonyms
.
Thus
Linking Words
, analyze first what
areas
Use synonyms
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
will you visit or travel
before
Change preposition
to before
show examples
 you
decided
Wrong verb form
decide
show examples
 to go.

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Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay includes an introduction and a conclusion, but they could be more clearly defined. Consider starting with a more structured introduction that outlines the main points you will discuss. Similarly, the conclusion should succinctly summarize your opinion and main arguments discussed in the essay.
Task Achievement
While you have presented a viewpoint, ensure that your arguments are consistently clear and thoroughly explored. Try to offer more detailed explanations to support your points and provide specific examples where possible.
Coherence and Cohesion
To improve your logical structure, aim to expand each paragraph with a clear main idea clarified at the outset and subsequent supporting points. Ensure each paragraph connects logically to your thesis statement and to each other.
Task Achievement
The essay acknowledges both the positive and negative aspects of international tourism, and this balanced view contributes positively to task achievement.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay reflects on economic impacts, providing a basis for further elaboration.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • sustainable tourism
  • cultural exchange
  • economic impact
  • hospitality sector
  • infrastructure development
  • environmental degradation
  • local economy
  • global understanding
  • seasonal fluctuations
  • tourist influx
What to do next:
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