IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some parents give their children everything that their children ask for or allow them to do whatever they want to do. Is this good for children? What could be consequences for these children when they grow up?

There are many methods that
parents
Use synonyms
 do to raise their
children
Use synonyms
, some of them might leave positive impacts
while
Linking Words
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
others might have negative influences. There is a parenting style in which the
parents
Use synonyms
 provide everything that
requested
Add a missing verb
is requested
show examples
 by their
children
Use synonyms
, and permit everything that their kids want to do.
This
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 essay will state that
this
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 is a bad style
in
Change preposition
of
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 raising
children
Use synonyms
continued
Wrong verb form
continuing
show examples
 with addressing some consequences that may occur to the
children
Use synonyms
 in the future.
This
Linking Words
 kind of way to raise kids is considered
as
Change preposition
apply
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a terrible way. If all requests are approved,
then
Linking Words
 the mental development of young people will be negatively affected.
Moreover
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,
this
Linking Words
 condition leads
their
Change preposition
to their
show examples
psychologic
Replace the word
psychological
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 aspect will only compromise with positive responses but hard to accept negative
feedbacks
Fix the agreement mistake
feedback
show examples
. Indeed, in the real world, there will be many challenges/obstacles with similar probability of being responded
either
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to either
show examples
positive
Change the word
positively
show examples
 or
negative
Change the word
negatively
show examples
.
For instance
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, the school rules provide
limitation
Fix the agreement mistake
limitations
show examples
 to what pupils
could do
Wrong verb form
can
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 and do not in the classroom.
This
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 usual situation would be a crucial issue for pupils that always
be
Verb problem
apply
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spoiled by their
parents
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. As the person
goes
Verb problem
gets
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 older,
this
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 condition will have long-term influences (knock-on effects). More real indicators
on
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of
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 the individuals’ mental aspect will
be appeared
Change to the active voice
appear
have appeared
show examples
. The person would likely be a dependent person with mental weakness and selfish characteristics. To illustrate
this
Linking Words
, spoiled persons will
be
Verb problem
find it
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 hard to work in a group because they put
their self
Correct pronoun usage
themself
themselves
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 as the centre of the world.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the level of anxiety is higher
due to
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lack
Correct article usage
a lack
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 of experience in facing risky
situation
Fix the agreement mistake
situations
show examples
. In conclusion,
children
Use synonyms
 which given all their needs and permitted
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
all their desires by their
parents
Use synonyms
 are raised in a negative way.
This
Linking Words
 will
cause
Verb problem
have
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bad
Correct article usage
a bad
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influences
Fix the agreement mistake
influence
show examples
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 their characteristic in the future involving mental issues.

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task achievement
The essay introduces an important issue and attempts to cover both aspects of the task, but it could be more developed in terms of explanations and examples. Try to elaborate on your points with more specific examples and deeper analysis.
coherence cohesion
Some sentences are complex, but they can sometimes be challenging to follow. Make sure each idea flows logically into the next, and consider revising sentence structures for clarity and cohesion.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which makes it easier to follow. However, ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to maintain coherence throughout the essay.
task achievement
The essay addresses an important parenting style and discusses its potential effects on children as they grow up.
coherence cohesion
You have a well-defined introduction and conclusion, which help frame your arguments effectively.
coherence cohesion
The selection of words and attempt to use sophisticated sentence structures is commendable.
Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • indulgence
  • overindulgence
  • leniency
  • emotional resilience
  • rejection
  • entitlement
  • realistic expectations
  • self-regulated behavior
  • egocentric
  • financial management
  • professional relationships
  • collaboratively
  • criticism
  • appreciation
  • value
  • effort
What to do next:
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