Young people committing crimes should be treated the same as adults by the authorities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The quantity of crimes nowadays gradually rises

due to

the impunity of young offenders. Some people believe that adolescents should be treated in the same way as grown criminals, owing to the cruelness of criminal activity. I fully accept

this

point and in

this

essay, I will justify to what extent I agree.

First,

as mentioned before, the percentage of crimes rises yearly because of the insufficiency of law punishment. Minors are being treated differently by law

due to

their age, lack of self-development, and incomplete understanding of their actions.

Nevertheless

, numerous crimes around the world were committed by teenagers, and certain parts of them were released, without any sense of guilt and regret.

For instance

, the criminal case of Dzunko Furuta was committed by six youngsters, and the cruelty of the

offense

Change the spelling

offence

show examples

was extremely high,

however

, despite

this

fact, they served a sentence of 3 years and were released after that, continuing their criminal lifestyle.

Secondly

, I am convinced that teaching underage would be the most efficient way to punish and provide mental help and true comprehension of what is right and wrong. Minors can be more dangerous than adults sometimes, because they may not think of the consequences of their actions, when grown ones do care about reputation and fate. The government, in turn, needs to provide and cheer any kind of proposals regarding assistance towards kids, to show indifference to human issues.

However

, it indeed depends on the offender, since sometimes, any kind of help would not be accepted right, and only a prison term would be enough. Summarizing all the information above, authorities should involve differences concerning laws of punishment towards kids, for the purpose of decreasing the amount of crime around the world, accurately behaving new generation, and making society safer for everyone.

Submitted by moon2014angel on Mon Nov 18 2024

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coherence cohesion

Ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly to maintain flow.

task achievement

Include more detailed examples or evidence to back your points.

task achievement

Clear stance on the topic is presented.

coherence cohesion

Each paragraph supports the central theme effectively.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

298 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Young people committing crimes should be treated the same as adults by the authorities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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