Young people committing crimes should be treated the same as adults by the authorities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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The quantity of crimes nowadays gradually rises
due to
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the impunity of young offenders. Some people believe that adolescents should be treated in the same way as grown criminals, owing to the cruelness of criminal activity. I fully accept
this
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point and in
this
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essay, I will justify to what extent I agree.
First,
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as mentioned before, the percentage of crimes rises yearly because of the insufficiency of law punishment. Minors are being treated differently by law
due to
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their age, lack of self-development, and incomplete understanding of their actions.
Nevertheless
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, numerous crimes around the world were committed by teenagers, and certain parts of them were released, without any sense of guilt and regret.
For instance
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, the criminal case of Dzunko Furuta was committed by six youngsters, and the cruelty of the
offense
Change the spelling
offence
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was extremely high,
however
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, despite
this
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fact, they served a sentence of 3 years and were released after that, continuing their criminal lifestyle.
Secondly
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, I am convinced that teaching underage would be the most efficient way to punish and provide mental help and true comprehension of what is right and wrong. Minors can be more dangerous than adults sometimes, because they may not think of the consequences of their actions, when grown ones do care about reputation and fate. The government, in turn, needs to provide and cheer any kind of proposals regarding assistance towards kids, to show indifference to human issues.
However
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, it indeed depends on the offender, since sometimes, any kind of help would not be accepted right, and only a prison term would be enough. Summarizing all the information above, authorities should involve differences concerning laws of punishment towards kids, for the purpose of decreasing the amount of crime around the world, accurately behaving new generation, and making society safer for everyone.
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coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly to maintain flow.
task achievement
Include more detailed examples or evidence to back your points.
task achievement
Clear stance on the topic is presented.
coherence cohesion
Each paragraph supports the central theme effectively.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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