IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people feel that governments should take a large proportion of people' salaries to pay for public services such as roads and schools. Other thinks high taxes are bad. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #governments #proportion #salaries #services #roads #schools #taxes
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Some
people
 claim that authorities should invest in citizen’s
taxes
 and pay for public utilities, but others believe that high
taxes
 will not benefit them. I believe that investing in public services
such
 as roads and schools is essential, but introducing high
taxes
 can lead to a decrease in the quality of
life
. First of all,
taxes
 play a huge role in the prosperity of each country, allowing many important amenities to be built or maintained. In
this
 way, governments dispose of
necessary
Correct article usage
the necessary
show examples
 budget in order to ensure health insurance, good roads, good public schools, kindergarten, and many other necessities that a modern and developed society needs.
For example
, places like the UAE are well-known for their low tax law, which attracts many investors, but at the same time, citizens should pay for medical services which are not cheap.
That is
 why properly allocated
taxes
 immensely benefit
people
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 require medical assistance.
Secondly
, high
taxes
 could be a burden for the working class who are trying to survive inflation. If the government decides to
rise
Correct your spelling
raise
show examples
 public
taxes
,
people
 who are less privileged will, eventually, have a lower amount of disposable money.
This
 will lead to a lower quality of
life
, considering that the majority of
people
 will not afford a comfortable
life
.
For instance
, a vast majority of
tax payers
Correct your spelling
taxpayers
show examples
 who are living in European countries are already giving more than 40% of their earnings.
Thus
, they feel frustrated and they struggle with a low income.
To conclude
, I believe that
taxes
 may benefit the majority of
people
,
however
, setting a very high tax may contribute to an inferior standard of
life
 for the less
well off
Add a hyphen
well-off
show examples
.
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introduction conclusion
Ensure the introduction clearly outlines both perspectives before providing your opinion to enhance clarity.
logical structure
Provide clearer topic sentences for each body paragraph to guide the reader through your arguments effectively.
introduction conclusion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points discussed and reaffirms your stance clearly.
supported main points
You have used relevant examples, such as healthcare in UAE and tax burdens in Europe, to substantiate your arguments.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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