Nowadays numbers of older people select to live in retirement communities with other people, rather than living with their adults. Is it negative or positive development.

These days , a lot of older humans decide to inhabit senior living communities with their peers preferably to reside with their grandchildren. I think that it is the worst concept for retired human beings because old people have only one duty which is to help to bring up their generation in the right way including talking about history and goodness and honesty of the world to their grandkids.But there are other sides to
this
idea ,
for instance
, their behaviour alternated to negative ways when they
would be
Wrong verb form
were
show examples
older . By the dwelling retired individuals with the same character owners .Tolerating balky identity. First of all, every person in
this
life has an end like others . Retired humans feature changes regularly when they become older like babies. So their house members do not tolerate anger and demanding inquiries and even argue with them.
As a result
, old-aged ones relocate on their own. Peers like them imitate others and have a thought. To take the spaceman, the Uzbek Times newspaper announced that the extent of moving to elderly housing increased significantly from 30% to 85%.
Secondly
, being
elder
Correct article usage
an elder
show examples
folks in every family has a vital role and affects positively . They make rules , put pressure and manage every adult on time.They have a dual impact on extra family income with their pension fee. They are the best counsellors for younger citizens before their special projects and supervise their mistakes by giving evidence from particular methods too.The reasons for
this
are they meet millions of partners ,communicate with them and even conduct from their position. By the way of a nutshell, in my opinion, it has
got
Verb problem
are
show examples
more positive sides to being elderly folks in every family as counsellors.
Then
, youths are under the pressure of their grandparents. Adults who are making complex schemes ask an advice from their retired members because of their experience of life they encountered.
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task achievement
The essay presents a clear position on the topic but could further elaborate on the advantages and disadvantages of elderly people living in these communities. Try to address different perspectives and develop your ideas more fully.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that your ideas flow logically. The transitions between ideas can be more explicit to help the reader follow your argument. Consider using linking words or phrases more effectively to improve the overall coherence.
task achievement
Provide more relevant and specific examples or statistics to support your main points. While you used an example from 'The Uzbek Times', more detailed examples would enhance your argument.
organization
You have successfully included an introduction and conclusion, framing your essay well.
clarity of arguments
The essay presents a clear position on the topic, demonstrating your ability to engage with the task.

Fully explain your ideas

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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