Many people believe that family has the strongest influence on a child’s development, while others believe that external factors such as television, friends and music play a big role. Discuss both views
Many
people
argue that child's
are more influenced by their family, Change the noun form
children
child
while
others believe that the influence their
get from school, friends and television has more Correct pronoun usage
they
impacted
on their development. In Change the form of the verb
impact
this
essay, I will exploring
both Change the verb form
explore
be exploring
view
.
In a world Change to a plural noun
views
each
day more violent with loads of adults with mental health issues, Correct pronoun usage
that
become
Correct subject-verb agreement
becomes
extremally
important to Rephrase
extremely
talking
about Wrong verb form
talk
child's
influence, and understand which references are going to Fix the agreement mistake
children's
impacting
their lives. Change the verb
impact
Child's
have to be Change noun form
Children
children
, Its
important Correct your spelling
It's
do
not Unnecessary verb
apply
to
Change the verb form
apply
swaap
Correct your spelling
swap
swamp
this
part of life in order to do
not Unnecessary verb
apply
reflected
Wrong verb form
reflect
negativily
Correct your spelling
negatively
negativity
in
the Change preposition
on
child
's future. A child
of today are
going to be the future adult of tomorrow.
Many Change the verb form
is
people
believe that the
early age Correct article usage
apply
are
impacted by the examples of their family, and often we can see Change the verb form
is
people
compering
Correct your spelling
comparing
child's
Correct article usage
a child's
behavior
with Change the spelling
behaviour
they
Correct pronoun usage
their
parents
Change noun form
parents'
parent's
behavior
, or that , girls Change the spelling
behaviour
are
usually following Unnecessary verb
apply
mothers
steps, and boys usually follow their fathers. Change noun form
mothers'
mother's
furthermore
, Its
normal we Correct your spelling
It's
being influence
by Change the verb form
being influenced
people
we admire and are more close
Replace the words
closer
by
. Change preposition
to
Moreover
, in the past
it was more common Add a comma
past,
parents
to be Change preposition
for parents
more close
Replace the words
closer
of
the education of their Change preposition
to
children
,
and protect Remove the comma
apply
their
Correct pronoun usage
them
againts
bad choices in life. Correct your spelling
against
While
nowaday
family are too busy with work.
Correct your spelling
nowadays
On the other hand
, with the growth of tecnology
, and the rushing of Correct your spelling
technology
the
life, Correct article usage
apply
child
Fix the agreement mistake
children
are having
more Verb problem
have
acess
to external Correct your spelling
access
informations
, Change the wording
information
pieces of information
such
as,
Remove the comma
apply
televison
, youtube and Correct your spelling
television
unfortunalety
many parents do not have the essential time to spend with their Correct your spelling
unfortunately
children
, thus
, in the modern lives children
are getting too exposed to teachings that they have more acess
to, Correct your spelling
access
such
as close friends too.
In conclusion, children
Change noun form
children's
caractcher
and personality are Correct your spelling
character
determinated
by Correct your spelling
determined
exemples
, It does not matter if are friends or families, The Correct your spelling
examples
reflect
of their attitudes could affect Replace the word
reflection
every body
around, Correct your spelling
everybody
therefore
, if we are concerning
about a better world to liveWrong verb form
concerned
, its
so important, before of thinking of have a Change preposition
in, its
children
to find out and make a responsable plan to their education, in order to grow a better human being.Submitted by amandaoliveirastylist on
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relevant specific examples
Ensure that examples used in the essay are directly related to the main points being discussed. Currently, the examples provided are not entirely specific or detailed enough to thoroughly support the arguments.
logical structure
Improve logical flow by using linking words and phrases more effectively to connect ideas and paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
Ensure coherence by structuring each paragraph with a clear main idea followed by supporting details.
complete response
The essay addresses both perspectives on the topic, fulfilling the requirement to discuss both views.
introduction conclusion present
The essay features a clear introduction and conclusion, which help structure the argument overall.
clear comprehensive ideas
There is a genuine attempt to address the complexities of the topic and provide a comprehensive overview.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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