Many people argue that in order to improve educational quality, high school students should be encouraged to question and offer criticisms to their teachers. Other think this will lead to a loss of respect discipline in the classroom. Discuss both views and give your opinion?

People are divided as to whether school

students

Use synonyms

should be allowed to

involve

Wrong verb form

be involved

show examples

performance

Correct article usage

the performance

show examples

teachers

Use synonyms

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

to enhance

education

Correct article usage

the education

show examples

system or not. In my mind, were

this

Linking Words

method to be carried out, it would be

good

Add an article

a good

show examples

approach in many significant ways.

To begin

Linking Words

with, those who disagree

Linking Words

this

Change preposition

with this

show examples

idea believe that there are several negative sites.

Firstly

Linking Words

, it can lead to

reduction

Add an article

a reduction

the reduction

show examples

of respect for

teachers

Use synonyms

. Tutors are considered as

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

role

model

Fix the agreement mistake

models

show examples

for adults and so

Inturapting

Correct your spelling

Interrupting

them with extra questions influences

Change preposition

apply

show examples

their authority.

Secondly

Linking Words

, various chaos

are

Change the verb form

show examples

arised

Correct your spelling

arisen

show examples

Add an article

the crisis

a crisis

show examples

crisis

Fix the agreement mistake

crises

show examples

in the class.

For example

Linking Words

, one student wants to judge

over

Change preposition

apply

show examples

him

Correct pronoun usage

his

show examples

teacher's work, another one finds other mistakes.

Consequently

Linking Words

Add an article

the teacher

a teacher

show examples

teacher

Fix the agreement mistake

teachers

show examples

can not manage them in discussing and children receive

wrong

Change the article

the wrong

show examples

message that

your

Correct pronoun usage

their

show examples

tutor

has

Verb problem

does

show examples

not knowledge much more in comparison to themselves. Having said that, I think that

this

Linking Words

approach has some benefits

to develop

Change preposition

in developing

show examples

students

Use synonyms

' skills. On the one hand, allowing pupils to judge their

teachers

Use synonyms

creates

opportunity

Add an article

an opportunity

the opportunity

show examples

to talk their opinions directly and enrich

relationship

Add an article

the relationship

show examples

between them.

On the other hand

Linking Words

students

Use synonyms

and

teachers

Use synonyms

can determine their strong and weak points through criticism, inspiring them to be always in

process

Correct article usage

the process

show examples

Thus

Linking Words

, it does not only help

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

students

Use synonyms

but it can bring many benefits for

teachers

Use synonyms

. Regarding

critic

Replace the word

critical

show examples

skills, encouraging children to

give

Verb problem

ask

show examples

questions and

critism

Correct your spelling

criticism

persuades them

ideate

Add the particle

to ideate

show examples

independently and evolve their

critic

Replace the word

critical

show examples

procedure.

As a result

Linking Words

students

Use synonyms

can understand deeply and

learn

Add the particle

learn to

show examples

prove their views. In conclusion, many individuals reckon that inspiring

students

Use synonyms

to give feedback and judge their

teachers

Use synonyms

causes some issues related

their

Change preposition

to their

show examples

status

while

Linking Words

I am of the opinion it can be

valuable

Add an article

a valuable

show examples

way

Change preposition

show examples

boosting

childrens'

Change noun form

children's

show examples

personal achievement.

Writing9

Nov 18, 2024

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logical structure

Ensure that all ideas are fully developed and clearly linked. Some parts of the essay are slightly repetitive or could be more logically organized for greater clarity.

introduction conclusion present

Improve coherence by using linking words effectively, ensuring sentences connect seamlessly. At times, the essay lacks smooth transitions between ideas.

supported main points

While the essay includes a conclusion, ensure that it effectively synthesizes the discussion, reiterating key points in a compelling manner.

relevant specific examples

Focus on providing more specific examples to support your points. Examples in the essay are somewhat generalized and could be more detailed to strengthen arguments.

complete response

Develop points more fully to achieve a complete response. Some arguments could be expanded to provide a deeper insight into the topic.

clear comprehensive ideas

Work on making ideas clearer and more comprehensive. At times, ideas are presented in a way that might not fully convey the intended meaning.

task achievement

The essay shows a good attempt to cover both views, providing a balanced discussion on the given topic.

coherence cohesion

You have included an introduction and conclusion, which frame the essay well, signifying a good overall structure.

coherence cohesion

The effort to discuss benefits and drawbacks reflects a good understanding of the essay prompt.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
37
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

283 words

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Many people argue that in order to improve educational quality, high school students should be encouraged to question and offer criticisms to their teachers. Other think this will lead to a loss of respect discipline in the classroom. Discuss both views and give your opinion?

In more and more countries, people choose to give money on special occasions rather than giving gifts chosen personally.Why might this be the case? Is it a positive or a negative development

Moden children are suffering from the diseases that were once considered to be meant for adults only. Obesity is a major disease prevelent among children. What are its causes and what solutions can be offered?

Living in a country where you have to speak a foreign language can cause serious social problems as well as practical problems. Do you agree or disagree with this idea?