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Writing Samples
Band 5

In many countries schools have severe problems with student behaviour. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest?

#countries #schools #student #behaviour
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In several
countries
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countries,
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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educational institutes are facing difficulties
due to
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 inappropriate
student’s
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student
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behavior
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behaviour
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.
This
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 essay will discuss the most common reasons
of
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for
show examples
this
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 problem and will
also
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 discuss the necessary solutions to overcome
avoid
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and avoid
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such
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 situations. First of all, lack of
the
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apply
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ethical education from
parent’s
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the parent’s
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 side is one of the most common reasons for
bad
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the bad
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 behavior of
students
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 in schools. It is said that
,
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apply
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 home is the first
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school
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shool
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school
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 for a
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childern
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child
 and learning starts from
leap
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the leap
a leap
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 of a mother. Those
students
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 who
donot
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do not
 learn manners from their
parents
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 are at higher risk of acquiring negative attitudes from the dark members of
a
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apply
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society.
For example
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, in Europe,
parents
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 provide un necessay freedom to their
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childern
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children
 and allow them to behave in a way
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childern
Correct your spelling
children
 want to, without having
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a check
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check list
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checklist
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, which results development of bad attitudes in
Use synonyms
childern
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children
.
Secondly
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, most of the schools only focus on other educational
subjects
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,
while
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 they completely ignore the
subjects
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 which teach
the
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apply
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morality. An educational survey reported that, in the USA, only a few schools have compulsory
subjects
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 which teach
the
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apply
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moral values to
students
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,
while
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 most of the institutes prioritize
the
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apply
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physcial
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physical
 science and art
subjects
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 over
behavioral
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behavioural
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sciecne
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science
sciences
.
Hence
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,the first step to
solve
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solving
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this
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 problem is teaching
the
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apply
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parents
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that
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apply
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how to make their
Use synonyms
childern
Correct your spelling
children
to
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apply
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learn the moral values of
a
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apply
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society. For
this
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purpose
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purpose,
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parents
Use synonyms
 learning classes should be started so that they get training for
this
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.
Secondly
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, every school should include ethical classes in their compulsory
subjects
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 and specialized teachers should be hired to
tache
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teach
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 the
students
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 how to behave at
a
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apply
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home and at
a
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apply
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school. In conclusion,
students
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 have
tendency
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a tendency
the tendency
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 to adopt the bad
habbits
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habits
, if they are not properly taught good manners at
shools
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schools
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as well as
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 at home.
Theorefore
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Therefore
, necessary
arrangments
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arrangements
show examples
 should be made at both places to to teach the student how to behave well.
Submitted by dr.tehreemk on

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Grammar
Avoid minor spelling errors and typos, such as 'shool', 'childern', and 'un necessay'.
Vocabulary
Use a wide range of vocabulary and sentence structures to make your points more persuasive.
Coherence
Ensure each paragraph sticks to one main point for better clarity and focus.
Structure
You provide a clear structure, with an introduction, body paragraphs and conclusion.
Task Response
Your essay offers a comprehensive response to both the causes and solutions aspect of the task.
Task Response
Your examples, such as those mentioning specific countries, help to illustrate your points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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