An increasing number of children are overweight which could result many problems when they grow older both in terms of their health and health care cost. why do you think so many children are overweigtht? what could be done to solve this problem?

There are more and more

kids

Use synonyms

who are overweight nowadays, and there are various factors that could lead to

this

Linking Words

consequence.

This

Linking Words

essay will explore different reasons why we

this

Linking Words

situation and try to find out solutions. From my perspective, there are two main reasons why

children

Use synonyms

gain weight much more easily.

Firstly

Linking Words

, I would conclude it as

"diet

Correct article usage

a "diet

show examples

problem". Many

children

Use synonyms

rely on fast

food

Use synonyms

or pre-prepared meals because their parents are both working. Namely, parents probably do not have enough time to prepare and notice what kind of

food

Use synonyms

their

kids

Use synonyms

eat.

Also

Linking Words

, these foods often contain too much fat, salt, and sugar;

therefore

Linking Words

, the number of overweight

kids

Use synonyms

is increasing. Another reason is that

children

Use synonyms

these days tend not to exercise. Thanks to the internet, they can chat and have fun online

Punctuation problem

apply

show examples

instead

Linking Words

of hanging out outside.

For example

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according to

Linking Words

a report, the age of playing video games is much lower compared to before.

In other words

Linking Words

, the more time they spend on computers and smartphones, the less time they can work out.

Although

Linking Words

we are facing

this

Linking Words

problem, I still believe there are some solutions

for

Change preposition

show examples

this

Linking Words

For instance

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, the government could introduce a law about advertisements of fast

food

Use synonyms

or pre-prepared

food

Use synonyms

. Once the law could be enacted,

children

Use synonyms

would not be easily attracted.

Besides

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, the government can

also

Linking Words

provide healthy meals in school for pupils from dual-income families.

As a result

Linking Words

, they do not need to prepare

food

Use synonyms

for themselves with unhealthy

food

Use synonyms

. There is

also

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another option,

such

Linking Words

as asking

kids

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to exercise as homework.

For example

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, in my country, there must be homework during summer vacation , which involves sports every day. It is not hard to prove. We only need to take pictures when we work out. In

this

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way,

kids

Use synonyms

can understand the benefits of sports. It is true that we are facing our

children

Use synonyms

gaining more and more weight because of

unhealthy

Correct article usage

an unhealthy

show examples

diet;

however

Linking Words

, there are

also

Linking Words

some answers to

this

Linking Words

which need our government and schools to promote together.

Isla

Jul 16, 2025

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coherence and cohesion

Make sure to clearly state your main points in each paragraph to help the reader follow your ideas better.

coherence and cohesion

Use more linking words and phrases to connect your ideas smoothly, such as 'firstly', 'moreover', or 'for instance'.

task achievement

Provide more specific examples and explain them in detail to strengthen your arguments.

task achievement

You have identified important reasons why children are overweight, such as diet and lack of exercise.

coherence and cohesion

The structure of the essay is clear, with a good introduction and conclusion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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14
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

342 words

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An increasing number of children are overweight which could result many problems when they grow older both in terms of their health and health care cost. why do you think so many children are overweigtht? what could be done to solve this problem?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Some people think that parents should teach their children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this.

In some countries,more and more people are hiring personal fitness trainers, rather than playing sports or doing excercise cleasses. what are the reasons for it? Is this a positive trend?

Topic: People now have the freedom to work and live anywhere in the world due to the development of communication technology and transportation. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

Nowadays, more people travel abroad for tourism than ever before. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Young people do not spend their holidays and weekends doing outdoor activities such as hiking and climbing in nature. Why is this? And how can we encourage them to go out?