Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?
In recent times, the number of individuals
that
have health problems Correct pronoun usage
who
are
trying Correct word choice
and are
alternative
treatments
instead
of usual ones
are
rising at an alarming pace. It seems to me, Correct subject-verb agreement
is
however
, it
is better to try scientific Correct word choice
that it
treatments
and avoid medicines
that are not proven by studies.
To start with, a growing number of people believe it is better to try alternative
treatments
and medicines
. For example
, recently trying herbal medicines
instead
of the ones
that based
on chemicals Add a missing verb
are based
got
more popular and many believe that it is less harmful for Verb problem
became
human
body to use herbal medications. Add an article
the human
Moreover
, individuals are losing their faith in doctors and usual methods
and started to try treatments
that are not completely science based
.
Add a hyphen
science-based
On the other hand
, some people believe we should trust the usual methods
and medications because those treatments
have been tested throughout the years and based
on science. In my view, Add a missing verb
are based
alternative
medicines
like the ones
that are based on herbs are not reliable and could be more harmful for
human bodies Change the preposition
to
that
chemical Correct word choice
than
medicines
. Furthermore
, the usual methods
of treatment are time tested while
alternative
versions are not tested by scientist
and we are not aware of the damages that could have for our state of health.
In conclusion, Fix the agreement mistake
scientists
although
many believe that alternative
treatments
and medicines
might be healthier than chemical ones
but
these new Remove the conjunction
apply
methods
are not tested by doctors and they are not based on the
science. Personally, I believe we should trust scientific Correct article usage
apply
methodes
that doctors studied Correct your spelling
methods
on
Change preposition
apply
them
for years and Correct pronoun usage
apply
they
are effective.Correct word choice
that they
Submitted by bahram.azizzade on
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task achievement
Consider providing more specific examples to strengthen your arguments. Referencing specific cases of alternative medicine use can enhance the essay's persuasiveness.
coherence cohesion
Focus on using a variety of sentence structures to improve coherence and make your writing style more engaging.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion which frame the argument well.
task achievement
The position on the topic is clear, advocating for traditional medicine over alternative methods due to reliability and scientific backing.
Your opinion
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