Some people think that museums should be enjoyable places to entertain people,while others believe that the purpose of museums is to educate.Discuss both views and give your opinion.
In these modern days in many cities around the world, one of the places which is the most visited is a museum, because in
this
space the people
from any country could learn about many subjects, such
as history or social culture. Whereas
, education is not the only purpose of museums, but also
these areas are created to entertain the
individuals. Correct article usage
apply
This
essay will discuss the reasons why museums exist for educating
and Replace the word
education
for
Change preposition
apply
entertaining
.
Replace the word
entertainment
Firstly
, the first objective of a museum is to give the population ways to educate. Therefore
, in that institution
Add a comma
institution,
people
can find skills for improving any specific subject, in many cases about art, the study of the past, or biology. A good example of that is
the Natural History Museum of London, which is a place where adults and childs
can learn about animals and geology. Correct your spelling
children
A
for mention, Correct your spelling
As
this
type of institut
exists for education.
Correct your spelling
institute
On the other hand
, another objective of the exhibition is entertaining. Hence
, while
people
are learning, they can enjoy moments: playing or watching videos about biology over time. For instance
, in Explora park
in Capitalize word
Park
Medellin
the visitor might improve their knowledge about the functions of the body, Add a comma
Medellin,
while
they are playing interaction games. For that reason, exhibition rooms aim to be entertaining.
To sum up
, expositions
are made for many purposes, one of them is giving learning- skills to individuals, and the second one is allowing Correct your spelling
exhibitions
people
to enjoy the exhibitions with games, because visitors might learn while
they are playing.Submitted by mariajoser3 on
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Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph clearly relates to the central topic and avoids veering off into tangents.
Coherence and Cohesion
Enhance the introduction to more clearly outline the discussion of both views.
Task Achievement
Provide more specific examples and details to strengthen the arguments presented.
Task Achievement
Improve the clarity of some complex sentences by breaking them into simpler ones.
Task Achievement
The essay clearly discusses both views on the purpose of museums, balancing them well.
Coherence and Cohesion
The structure of the essay is logical, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
Task Achievement
There are specific examples, such as the mention of the Natural History Museum of London and Explora park, which enhance the response.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas flow smoothly from one paragraph to the next, aiding readability and understanding.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?
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