Some people think that museums should be enjoyable places to entertain people,while others believe that the purpose of museums is to educate.Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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In these modern days in many cities around the world, one of the places which is the most visited is a museum, because in
this
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space the
people
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from any country could learn about many subjects,
such
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as history or social culture.
Whereas
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, education is not the only purpose of museums, but
also
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these areas are created to entertain
the
Correct article usage
apply
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individuals.
This
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essay will discuss the reasons why museums exist for
educating
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education
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and
for
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apply
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entertaining
Replace the word
entertainment
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.
Firstly
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, the first objective of a museum is to give the population ways to educate.
Therefore
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, in that
institution
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institution,
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people
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can find skills for improving any specific subject, in many cases about art, the study of the past, or biology. A good example of
that is
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the Natural History Museum of London, which is a place where adults and
childs
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children
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can learn about animals and geology.
A
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As
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for mention,
this
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type of
institut
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institute
exists for education.
On the other hand
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, another objective of the exhibition is entertaining.
Hence
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,
while
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people
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are learning, they can enjoy moments: playing or watching videos about biology over time.
For instance
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, in Explora
park
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Park
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in
Medellin
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Medellin,
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the visitor might improve their knowledge about the functions of the body,
while
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they are playing interaction games. For that reason, exhibition rooms aim to be entertaining.
To sum up
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,
expositions
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exhibitions
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are made for many purposes, one of them is giving learning- skills to individuals, and the second one is allowing
people
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to enjoy the exhibitions with games, because visitors might learn
while
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they are playing.
Submitted by mariajoser3 on

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Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph clearly relates to the central topic and avoids veering off into tangents.
Coherence and Cohesion
Enhance the introduction to more clearly outline the discussion of both views.
Task Achievement
Provide more specific examples and details to strengthen the arguments presented.
Task Achievement
Improve the clarity of some complex sentences by breaking them into simpler ones.
Task Achievement
The essay clearly discusses both views on the purpose of museums, balancing them well.
Coherence and Cohesion
The structure of the essay is logical, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
Task Achievement
There are specific examples, such as the mention of the Natural History Museum of London and Explora park, which enhance the response.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas flow smoothly from one paragraph to the next, aiding readability and understanding.

Your opinion

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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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