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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The line graph below shows average carbon dioxide (co²) emissions per person in the United Kingdom, Sweden, Italy and Portugal between 1967 and 2007.

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The graph gives information about how much carbon dioxide for each person in four European countries in the years 1967 to 2007.
Overall
Linking Words
,
while
Linking Words
 both
United
Correct article usage
the United
show examples
 Kingdom
an
Correct your spelling
and
show examples
Sweden
Use synonyms
 experienced a downward trend,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Italy and Portugal witnessed
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 upward trend throughout the
period
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. In 1967, CO² emissions per person in
United
Correct article usage
the United
show examples
 Kingdom and
Sweden
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 were 11 and 9 metric
tonnes
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. England saw a steady decrease over the
period
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 ,
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
reaching
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
9 metric
tonnes
Use synonyms
 in 2007. At the same time ,
average
Correct article usage
the average
show examples
 carbon dioxide for each individual in
Sweden
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 stood at 9 metric
tonnes
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 at the beginning .
Then
Linking Words
 it saw a rapid growth
around
Change preposition
of around
show examples
 10 metric
tonnes
Use synonyms
 in 1977 ,
however
Linking Words
Add a comma
,
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this
Linking Words
 figure declined quickly until 1987 to approximately 7 metric Tennessee. After that
Use synonyms
Sweden
Change noun form
Sweden's
show examples
 rate dropped swiftly end of the
period
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, reaching almost 5 metric
tonnes
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 in 2007. At the beginning of the
period
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 Italy and Portugal experienced only an upward trend over the
period
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. CO ² emissions per person
both
Change preposition
in both
show examples
 countries were around 4 and 1 metric
tonnes
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 respectively.
The
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Italy's rate increased fourfold until 2007
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
reaching around 7 metric
tonnes
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.
Furthermore
Linking Words
Add a comma
,
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Portugal's rate soared suddenly around threefold and
reaching
Wrong verb form
reached
show examples
 a low point than others at 5 metric
tonnes
Use synonyms
 in 2007.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words sweden, period, tonnes with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 4 times.
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